"I've been attending these dinners for years and just quietly sitting there," she explained, before taking over. "Well, I've got a few things I want to say for a change."

Mrs. Bush joked about her husband's habit of retiring early, referring to him sarcastically as "Mr. Excitement" and saying that she once advised: "If you really want to end tyranny in the world, you'll have to stay up later."

"I am married to the president of the United States and here's our typical evening: Nine o'clock - Mr. Excitement, here, is sound asleep. And I'm watching 'Desperate Housewives.'"

As the crowd erupted in guffaws she added - "with Lynne Cheney."

"Ladies and gentleman, I am a desperate housewife. I mean - if those women on that show think that they're desperate, they ought to be with George."

The first lady continued:

"One night after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendales. I wouldn't even mention it, except that Ruth Ginsburg and Sandra Day O'Connor saw us there.

"I won't tell you what happened," she insisted. "But Lynne's Secret Service code name is now 'Dollar Bill.'"

Mrs. Bush even went so far as to poke fun at her mother-in-law, telling the Correspondents Dinner crowd: "People think that she's a sweet, grandmotherly Aunt Bea-type. She's actually more like Don Corleone."

The first lady also joked about her husband's ranching skills, saying: "I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse."

As the audience howled, Laura added: "What's worse, it was a male horse."

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