"The newest theory - advanced privately by prominent Democrats, including members of Congress - holds that Mr. Cheney recently dismissed his personal doctor so that he could see a new one, who will conveniently tell him in August that his heart problems make him unfit to run with Mr. Bush," the old gossips at the New York Times "reported" today.

Strangely enough, Howell Raines and the other disgraced ex-Timesmen didn't have enough creativity to use that sort of excuse when their careers went down the toilet.

Editor's note: