Today the dictator accused Bush yet again of planning to invade his tropical gulag.

'Crazy'

"Do not try crazy adventures such as surgical strikes or wars of attrition using sophisticated techniques, because you could lose control of the situation," Castro said this morning in a speech addressed to Bush.

"You could shatter the immigration agreement and provoke a mass exodus that we would not be in a position to prevent, and you could bring about an all-out war between young American soldiers and the Cuban people. That would be very sad.

"You would never be able to win that war," he croaked. "Here you will not find a divided people."

If the White House sends the dictator a thank-you basket, we suggest it include plenty more of what he's been smoking, which seems to be stronger than cigars.

Editor's note: