Kerry Can't Pronounce His Wife's Name

LAKE WORTH, Fla. – President Bush gets plenty of guff for his inability to pronounce such simple words as "nuclear” (note to aides: it’s not "nook-yoo-lur”), but at least he can properly state his wife’s name. If only John Kerry could make the same claim.

During Kerry’s campaign appearance yesterday in infamous Pea Brain County, ground zero for Al Gore’s failed coup attempt in 2000, one condo commando asked the candidate where the missus was. He used the normal American pronunciation ("Ter-EE-suh”), and so did Kerry in replying that she was up in Daytona Beach, though he warned that we’d be seeing more of her.

Problem is, as ace columnist Michelle Malkin noted in the March issue of NewsMax Magazine, the Massachusetts Democrat’s highfalutin foreign-born wife calls herself "Teh-RAY-zah.” The Eurotrash pronunciation is no doubt part of the ketchup queen’s inability to identify with all things American, even her hubby.

As the would-be first lady groused last week to the New York Post’s Cindy Adams: "I can’t believe my family left Africa and came to this country. I can’t believe I ever even married an American."

We’ll leave it up to John and Teresa/Teh-RAY-zah to work out the proper name for her, though our readers have already e-mailed in plenty of suggestions.

Editor's note: