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Brangelina Baby Sets Off Star Kids' Domain Grab James Hirsen
THE LEFT COAST
REPORT Headlines (Scroll down for complete stories): 1. Brangelina Baby Sets Off Star Kids' Domain Grab Any celebrity baby who's anyone these days has got to have an Internet domain. It's a Hollywood tyke's must-have. But don't expect www.tom, dick, or harry.com. Star kids' domains are more like Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow), Kal-el (Nicolas Cage), Brooklyn (David Beckham and his ex-Spice Girl wife Victoria), Bluebell Madonna (another former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell), Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette), Phinnaeus (Julia Roberts), Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee), Suri (Tom & Katie Cruise) and, of course, Shiloh (the Brangelina offspring).
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Following the Namibian birth of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie Pitt, lawyers at the Lavely & Singer law firm, which represents Angelina, apparently gave to her daughter a cyber gift of 24 registered domain names along with the extensions ".com," ".org," ".net," and ".info" (including the "shilohjolie," "shilohpitt," "shilohjoliepitt," "shilohnouveljolie," "shilohnouvelpitt" and "shilohnouveljoliepitt" variations).
It appears that the Pitts and their legal counsel have heard about what happened to fellow thespians Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, whose daughter's name Suri was registered by some riffraff non-celebrity, who registered "suricruise.com." The Left Coast Report waits in breathless anticipation of future star kids' domains ButternutSquash.com, FleetForeman.biz, OliveOil.org, Cracklin'Rosie.net, and Buttons-n-Bows.info. 2. Celebrity Vampire Madonna At some point all celebrities grow older, fall out of favor, and no longer make the A-list. In trying to ward off the inevitable, Madonna looks like she's taking a different tack. Her response to her own impending descent seems to be to turn into a vampire of the celebrity kind. She's not sucking blood, but she is appropriating the life force out of younger trendier celebs. First, Madonna became Britney Spears' Svengali, introducing Spears to the Hollywood Kabbalah faith and convincing her to engage in a same sex TV smooch.
But these days Britney is not as hot as she once was and a new "it" girl seems to have snagged her spot, at least when it comes to Madonna. Evidently the material girl has dumped Britney and is poised to suck the celebrity plasma out of Lindsay Lohan. Ostensibly the reason that Madonna changed girlfriends is because Britney is no longer a wholehearted Kabbalah follower. Lohan, on the other hand, says she's "looking into Kabbalah." Madonna reportedly now wants to record a duet with Lohan and wants to appear in a movie with the young starlet. The Left Coast Report advises Lindsay to slip a cross around her neck and down some extra hearty shrimp scampi. 3. Paris Hilton's Bombshell Admission Paris Hilton recently revealed a secret that's so shocking, people may never look at television the same way again. Hilton informed the public that "The Simple Life," the TV show in which she stars, "is a reality show and people might assume it's real. But it's fake. All reality shows are fake basically. When you have a camera on you, you are not going to act yourself."
She also claimed that she created the character on her show by mixing together the personalities of the characters on "Legally Blonde" and "Clueless." She then combined them "with a rich girl all-in-one." "Even my voice is different from me in real life. It's a character I like to play. I think it's carefree and happy," Hilton explained, adding, "The public think they know me but they really don't." So, not only is she a hotel heiress, pop singer, and consummate partier, "The Simple Life" makes Hilton a real reality television insider, capable of giving viewing audiences reality TV programming insight. The Left Coast Report wonders if this means that Hilton's fans will have to adjust to the fact that she's even less intelligent than her TV alter-ego. 4. Warren Beatty: 'Far Right' Kept Him From Running It's funny how celebrities who run for political office frequently elect to have an "R" as opposed to a "D" next to their name; i.e., Ronald Reagan, Sonny Bono, Fred Thompson and Arnold Schwarzenegger, among others. Maybe it's because celebrity conservatives aren't in the habit of making lame excuses. Actor, activist and much ballyhooed potential political candidate Warren Beatty is offering an explanation as to why he's been a loud talker, but not much of a walker, when it comes to running for office. Beatty is quoted in Amy Wilentz's book, "I Feel Earthquakes More Often Than They Happen," as saying, "People hate celebrities . . . There has been a demonization of celebrities on the part of the far right." According to Beatty, the "far right" is quite potent even when it comes to a certain hallowed New Jerseyite. "Look," Beatty said, "Bruce Springsteen went out for [John] Kerry in Ohio, and they even made him look bad — and Springsteen is a saint." 5. Brad Pitt's Alibi for the Single Guy Being a dad to his new daughter Shiloh and his two adopted children, Maddox and Zahara, has Brad Pitt gushing. When it comes to marrying the mother of his kids, though, it's a whole different story. Regarding his own potential nuptials with Angelina Jolie, Pitt told Esquire magazine that he won't get hitched until "everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able." Now single guys who feel as if they're being tugged toward the altar by their main squeezes have an easy out, thanks to the actor-humanitarian. The Left Coast Report hears that polygamists are celebrating Pitt's pronouncement too. Editor's Notes:
The Left Coast Report is put together by James L. Hirsen and the staff of NewsMax — The Left Coast Report Archives Get your FREE copy of James Hirsen's new book 'Hollywood Nation' — Click Here Now.
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