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Dixie Chicks Quacking Up James Hirsen THE LEFT COAST REPORT
Headlines (Scroll down for complete stories): 1. Sean Penn's Ann Coulter Dolly Sean Penn apparently has a new plaything. It seems that the actor-activist and sometimes journalist has a doll to keep him occupied. Or should I say voodoo doll? Never far from his Spicoli likeness, Penn admits to The New Yorker that he possesses a small Barbie-style dolly that for him represents conservative belle of the Beltway Ann Coulter. The really weird thing about the tale is the confession by Penn that he enjoys torturing the Coulter doll.
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"There are cigarette burns in some funny places," Penn admits. "She's a pure snake-oil salesman. She doesn't believe a word she says." The Left Coast Report thinks someone should send Sean a new doll to play with - the Bride of Chucky.
2. Stephen Baldwin Battles Porn Shop I recently had the chance to catch Stephen Baldwin at work on his new film. Although folks may know him for his performance in "The Usual Suspects" they may be unaware that he is an authentic family man. He's also an all-around great guy. However, in an article dealing with Baldwin's battle against a porn/sex shop opening in Nyack, the Rockland County town where he resides, the New York Daily News recently described him as a "born-again bad boy." "For me, being born again was the most awesome thing that has ever happened in my life," Baldwin says. "And I'd had a pretty awesome life already." Baldwin's primary motivation for opposing the filth emporium is the safekeeping of his two beautiful young daughters. The actor now has a new ally in fighting the neighborhood smut peddlers. The Catholic Citizenship, a group that wants Catholic Americans "to exercise 'Faithful Citizenship' by becoming politically involved and informed citizens," has filed a lawsuit claiming that Nyack's planning board failed to consider the impact the porn store could have on the community. "The planning board has a responsibility under state law to take a hard look at the environmental impact of the project on the community," David MacCartney, an attorney for Catholic Citizenship, told the New York Daily News. "A number of studies have been done on the effects of hard-core pornography on men and their willingness, after viewing pornography, to commit crime and target women," MacCartney said. "I'm not directly involved in the petition, but it's exactly what I've been arguing," Baldwin explained. "This store would bring the type of individual we do not want. Sex offenders will come to town, deviants will come to town." Baldwin added that with his past, "Some people will think that I am the last guy on earth who should be fighting this fight. But I am completely and totally a different person now." The Left Coast Report notices that when it comes to matters of faith Providence often selects the unusual suspects.
3. A Britney Spears' Monument to Life Could a statue of Britney Spears inspire pro-life groups across the globe? An art gallery in Brooklyn thinks so. In April 2006 the Capla Kesting Fine Art Gallery in Brooklyn's Williamsburg district will unveil a sculpture called "Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston."
The gallery proclaims that Spears "is the 'ideal' model for Pro-Life" and that the sculpture is "the first Pro-Life monument to birth."
The Left Coat Report echoes Edwards' sentiments and hopes that, as in his words, "Britney provides inspiration for those struggling with the 'right choice.'"
4. Eva Longoria's Shoot 'Em Up Michael Douglas is coming out with a film that has as its terrorist du jour a white supremacist. "The Sentinel" (due out in April 2006) will have Douglas portray a special agent who tries to stop a conspiracy by a Neo-Nazi Aryan villain who has infiltrated the White House and plans to assassinate the president. In the process, Douglas's character has an affair with the first lady who's played by Kim Basinger. Douglas and his cast mates, including "24's" Kiefer Sutherland and "Desperate Housewife" Eva Longoria, were taught how to shoot firearms by pros at the FBI. "We did a whole training program with [the Secret Service] and the FBI. A lot of it involved shooting," Douglas told FHM magazine. "Now, Kiefer Sutherland's in the movie, and I knew with '24' he had that stuff in his back pocket, but guess who was by far the best shot? Eva Longoria," Douglas revealed. According to Douglas, after the federal agents conferred, they determined that Longoria "shot better than 90 percent of the officers out there today." The Left Coast Report hears Antonio Banderas has contacted Eva Longoria to co-star with him in "Desperado Housewives."
5. Dixie Chicks Quacking Up Once upon a time in the music world the Dixie Chicks were on their way to superstardom. One fateful overseas concert would change all that. Just days before the Iraq war formally began the country music group was on tour in Europe. "Just so you know," lead singer Natalie Maines yelled at a U.K. concert, "we're ashamed that the president of the United States is from Texas." The band's recordings now receive about 30 percent less radio airplay than they did prior to Maines' anti-Bush screed on foreign soil. To this day there are radio stations that continue to boycott the group. In an apparent effort to gain publicity and reach a wider rock-oriented audience, the Chicks from time to time have tried to milk the controversy. The three members posed for the cover of Entertainment Weekly with words like "Traitors," "Saddam's Angels," "Dixie Sluts," "Free Speech" and "Brave" emblazoned on their nude bodies. During the last presidential election, the threesome participated in the "Vote for Change" concerts that targeted swing states on behalf of the Kerry campaign. The group's new album, "Take the Long Way," is due out in May 2006. Maines would have the public believe that the musical project is a bit of therapeutic catharsis intended to put the past behind. "This album was total therapy," Maines said. "I'm way more at peace now. Writing these songs and saying everything we had to say makes it possible to move on." But Maines sings a different tune on the album's single. The title itself, "Not Ready to Make Nice," is revealing and smells a whole lot like an attempt to garner attention for a group that would otherwise be fading.
The chorus has some very non-apologetic and unimaginative lyrics including the following: "I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down, I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go round and round and round," ending with the phrase "'cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should." As far as putting things behind her, Maines croons, "Forgive, sounds good, forget, I'm not sure I could. They say time heals everything, but I'm still waiting." Apparently, radio stations aren't waiting. Many have already indicated that they won't play the tune. As for the Chicks The Left Coast Report says they apparently recognize that the resuscitation of their career is dependent upon their willingness to walk and talk like DNC ducks. Editor's Notes:
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