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Conspiracy Theories Charles R. Smith I am not one for conspiracy theories. In fact, I have often been skeptical of many stories that pass my desk. It is a healthy thing to require proof and seek facts before drawing conclusions. It is also a legal requirement when you write for a living, seeing as how it's easy to end up in court when you don't get the story straight. It is worth noting that not once during the past twenty years of writing did any person, company, government or official take me to court for publishing an untruth. Oh, I have had my share of corrections, but even those who wanted the corrections were not ready to leap into court. There have been several times that I have been confronted by conspiracy groups. The world is full of those who seek an easy explanation for things that happen around them. Recently, I made the mistake of cleaning out my e-mail inbox. Among the unanswered electronic mailings, I stumbled across a message where someone mistook me for a person he once knew. I made the polite mistake of answering the mail, telling the guy I was not the person he met in college during the 1970s. Story Continues Below
This quickly turned into a food fight, with him claiming that I was "Mo" something-or-other from his past who had set him up with an FBI/nuclear weapons conspiracy. Despite photographs, TV show appearances, an extensive bio and tons of articles, this person remains convinced that I am "Mo" and not Charlie Smith. There are times where you have to give up and simply dedicate certain incoming e-mail to the anti-Spam feature – this was one of them. Me and Mel I also have been called a "Mel Gibson"-like conspiracy freak. However, this comment came from a U.S. attorney who did not like my Freedom of Information lawsuits. Her thought was that I saw a conspiracy under every document withheld. I, in turn, reminded her that the federal judge we had recently met threatened to put her in jail since she had not given him the real facts. She made the mistake of telling the judge that the Chinese officials cited in the documents I wanted were actually civilians, and therefore entitled to privacy. In response, I noted that these so-called civilians wore strange clothing. I then presented the official pictures and bios of the Chinese generals in question. The judge agreed with me because he did not think that a person in a green uniform with two red stars on his shoulder qualified as a simple civilian. Thus, his anger was directed toward the U.S. attorney and not me. Still, she did manage to win one of the four cases I filed – apparently because the judge in question distrusted reporters more than U.S. attorneys with a record for stretching the truth. UFO Stories There were other memorable occasions when conspiracy theories caught up with me. One such event was correspondence that I had with a UFO believer. This person was absolutely certain that the Clipper chip project that I stumbled across was actually an alien plot to implant the human race with mental control chips. In realty, Clipper was no more than a mass bugging project designed to monitor every phone, fax and computer in the U.S. This is bad enough as conspiracies go, but the Clipper program was nowhere near an effort to implant humans with chips. So I told the guy, but he simply would not believe me. Turns out that this fellow and his followers ended up dead. It was after his death that I checked his e-mail name and found that he was actually the leader of a cult that believed an alien spacecraft would come and pick them up. One day a comet elected to pass through our backwater solar system and the cultist committed suicide thinking that the space aliens were hiding in the comet's tail. Simple solution to the Spam problem, but a little too harsh for my taste. WMD and Me Then there is the longstanding feud I have with those who still believe that Saddam had no weapons of mass destruction and that the U.S. gave him weapons of mass destruction. Never mind the fact that these two allegations contradict each other – sort of a "pay no attention to the facts behind the curtain" theme – the bottom line here is that "Bush lied!" Sometimes being so far ahead of the curve can be a curse. I am currently watching with amusement as article after article is just now falling into the mainstream media showing that Saddam did indeed have such weapons and he obtained them from the former Soviet Union. It would seem that the revelation that Saddam hid his weapons – with a little help from Moscow – is not so far-fetched after all. Still, the fact that I wrote these things over a year ago only goes to prove my point. Queen of Conspiracy Finally, I must wrap up with the Queen of Conspiracy, who has been issuing shrill cries of "Liar, liar pants on fire!" That role can only be reserved for Hillary Clinton. Her most recent comments about Dick Cheney's hunting accident are enough to make one drive over a bridge, dive deep into open water – and not tell the police for ten or more hours later that a passenger drowned. Mrs. Clinton was the first to shriek "right-wing conspiracy" when her darling-boy husband declared he was not lying. Mrs. Clinton also currently holds a record 250 times that she forgot, could not recall or could not remember under oath. Today, to have Mrs. Clinton shouting at the wings, declaring that the White House is full of cover-ups, is about as amusing as my e-mail buddy declaring that my real name is Mo. Where, indeed, is the Spam filter for this one?
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