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Joys of Base Closings John L. Perry"Mr. President, a delegation of moderate Republican senators are urgently requesting a meeting with you to discuss the proposed military base closings in their states."
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"Don't even bother to tell me their names, Andy. I can smell already they're ones who've joined the Democrats in trash-talking John Bolton." "You got it, boss." "And finding bogus reasons to oppose my efforts to reform Social Security." "Right again." "And hinting to the press they'll join the opposition in supporting filibusters rather than giving my court nominees an up-or-down vote in the Senate." "The same old same ones." "Why am I not surprised?" "They're demanding to meet with you ... like right now. They're all in a lather." "And I'm not supposed to be?" "They're saying it'll be a calamity to the national defense if any of the bases in their states are closed or down-sized." "I know, I know. The truth is, though, in another 10, 15 years the real calamity will be this nation will be weak as a kitten if we don't shut down those excess white elephants." "They're insisting theirs bases are all special cases, Mr. President." "Well, Andy, this whole entire country is my base, my special case." "Shall I find time in your schedule for this bunch?" "No." "What'll I tell them?" "I'll tell you what you can tell them. Tell them the president knows how absolutely vital these bases are to them, to their constituents and to the defense of the Free World, plus Tippecanoe and Timbuktu. Tell them the president is eager to meet with them to discuss these base closings." "But, Mr. President, I thought you said you didn't want to schedule such a meeting." "I still don't. Lemme finish. Here's what else you tell them, Andy. "You tell them right now the president is focused entirely on just three things – (1) getting Bolton to clean out that Augean stable of a U.N., (2) saving our grandchildren and great-grandchildren from being buried in bankruptcy by the collapse of Social Security and (3) restoring the centuries-old constitutional responsibility for all senators to vote yea or nay on nominees to federal courts. "Tell them the president is so focused on those three things you can't get him to think of anything else right now. "Tell them the president said he'll invite the lot of them over to the White House to talk about base closings just as soon as he gets those Big Three items successfully accomplished in the Senate. "You tell them until that happens, the president isn't seeing anyone about anything – not even Barney about a stroll past his favorite fire hydrants." "Mr. President, they're going to raise all manner of hell in the press." "So what else is news? Andy, how come I always get these porcupines thrown into my lap?" "I don't know, Mr. President. Just because you're president, I guess." "Don't you dare tell anyone, Andy, but I absolutely love this job. God help me, how I love it!" John L. Perry, a prize-winning newspaper editor and writer who served on White House staffs of two presidents, is a regular columnist for NewsMax.com. Read John Perry's columns here.
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