Mike Gallagher
Saturday, Feb. 5, 2005

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  The event was held at the Museum of Television and Radio, a beautiful, state-of-the-art facility that celebrates and chronicles the broadcasting industry. To my right was journalism professor Lee Thornton from the University of Maryland. To my left (naturally) was Al Franken, the centerpiece of Air America, the so-called 'liberal talk radio network.' The moderator was Michael Harrison from Talkers Magazine, the talk radio industry bible. The room was full of Al Franken fans who listen to his show in New York City.

It was going to be a long evening.

To begin with, Professor Thornton seemed worried about what she called the "blurred line" between talk radio shows like mine and what is supposed to be news. This is a relatively new phenomenon among liberal elitists, this angst they display about the poor dopes who enjoy talk radio and how they supposedly aren't able to tell the difference between an opinionated host and a news anchor.

But clearly the highlight of the night was the performance by Al Franken, who made the transition from comedian to political pundit with his book "Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot."

Believe it or not, I've always gotten along with Franken. We've spoken at a couple of political conventions and visited in a couple of TV green rooms and he's always been friendly, chatty and amiable. Around me, he's never acted like the kind of guy who was capable of going bonkers and physically attacking a Howard Dean heckler at a campaign event, perhaps not one of Al's finest moments.

It's pretty obvious that Al is an angry guy. While the subject of Thursday night's panel was about the impact of talk radio, all he really wanted to do was call some conservative radio hosts liars and attack the Bush administration for the Abu Ghraib prison scandal. Harrison and I, the radio guys, kept trying to steer the conversation back to the subject of talk radio. When Franken started opining about the dangers of mercury in the fish he eats, even his fans' eyes started glazing over.

But it's his anger – and his denial that he's angry – that fascinates me.

At one point after he began raising his voice while calling Limbaugh or Hannity some childish names, his lip quivering and his face turning red, I said, "Boy, Al, you're so angry." "No I'm not," he sniffed. "I'm not angry at all."

It's one thing for liberals to be mad about the 2004 election. I understand the sting of losing a pivotal election, looking at maps and seeing a sea of red in the U.S., and realizing that the Democratic Party is slowly but surely imploding from within.

So why deny it? Why would Al Franken, the poster boy for liberalism, pretend not to be so mad? His denial suggests one of two things: Either he thinks being angry makes him look bad (he's right), or he wishes he weren't so emotional over the relatively insignificant career of being a radio host.

The reason conservative radio hosts like me have enjoyed a measure of success is because most of us aren't angry people who take ourselves too seriously. We are comfortable and confident in who we are: opinionated broadcasters. Funny thing is, when I pointed out to Al that he'd like to be the Rush or Sean of the left, he took great offense at that. Believe me, his bosses at Air America are praying for at least half the success of talk radio powerhouses like Limbaugh or Hannity.

Al Franken might be a funny guy, a talented writer/comic and a good family man, but he just doesn't get talk radio.

But if he wants to do well, he'd better figure talk radio out soon. As he clamors for radio station clearances all over the country and hopes for great ratings and revenues like the rest of us, he has joined the club. He's courting new listeners and schmoozing advertisers like we all do.

Perhaps he's angry because he's just one of us now. He thinks he speaks the truth. But so does every other host on the air today. He believes his side to be right, as do we all. He has a microphone and an audience to play to where he can use all his powers of persuasion to speak his mind.

As I was warned he would do beforehand by someone who knows him, midway through the evening he pulled out an old NewsMax column I wrote about how the 2004 election made liberals like him irrelevant. One of his fans in the audience, a ghastly looking woman with an oversized fur coat, stood up and demanded to know why I would write that about him while saying that every point of view on the radio should be heard, even his. I attempted to explain the difference between disagreeing with someone politically and ideolgically, but wishing them well in their endeavors. I'm not sure that nuance was understood by the crowd.

But I do wish him well. The more attention that's paid to our industry, the more we all benefit. But I'd like to offer an unsolicited piece of advice to Al and the rest of the angry libs at Air America: Try to tone down the anger and bitterness and step up the comedy. Ask Jon Stewart – it works.

I learned a lot from Thursday night's experience. I found out that an entire roomful of liberal New Yorkers truly believe that they're smarter and better informed than everyone else in the country. I found out that Al Franken is, indeed, capable of veering into full-fledged rage at the drop of a hat. And I discovered that the sooner Al figures out he's one of us, the better off he'll do in the cutthroat world of talk radio.

If he stays mad, he'll be off the air in less time than it took Stuart Smalley to break into tears.

Mike Gallagher's first book, "Surrounded by Idiots – Fighting Liberal Lunacy in America," will be published this June by William Morrow, a Harper Collins imprint.

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