THE LEFT COAST REPORT
A Political Look at Hollywood
Headlines (Scroll down for complete stories): 1.Ozzy Osbourne Shares Secret Cure 2. Bono's Green Jeans 3. The Pitt-Jolie Air Sale 4. PETA's Felonious Follies 5. Kate Hudson Sees Dead People
1. Ozzy Osbourne Shares Secret Cure
Ozzy Osbourne, the bat-biting rocker who let millions peek through his window via a reality show, made a confession recently to late-night TV host Conan O'Brien.
Ozzy told Conan that he hates being alone and suffers from loneliness.
Evidently, Ozzy has found a cure for loneliness, however. He's had two smiley face tattoos inked onto his kneecaps.
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Ozzy actually talks to the smiley faces to get rid of lonely feelings.
"When I'm p***ing off people they don't want to talk to me," he explained. "So I can always pretend they're alive and talk to them."
Smiley faces tattooed onto knees may even be something handed down to future Obournes.
"My son [Jack] has just had it done," Oz said. "It's like a family tradition, an Osbourne family tradition."
The Left Coast Report hears that Howard Dean was spotted in his shorts, and tattooed upon his knees was the smiley face of Nancy Pelosi.
2. Bono's Green Jeans
What does n-u-d-e spell backwards? A new Bono-endorsed sustainable clothing line, of course.
Edun is the name of a company with which the rocker, his wife, Ali Hewson, and fashion designer Rogan are all involved.
Bono and company are doing more than simply peddling shrunken blazers and metallic-stitched denims. They're also trying to raise awareness.
Each pair of Edun jeans is inscribed with the following tagline: "We carry the story of the people who make our clothes around with us."
The jeans have a poem embroidered inside their pockets, too. "I think you should always have a poem in your pocket," Bono tells The Associated Press.
Traditional Incan vegetable dyes are used to make some of Edun's T-shirts as well.
Bono hopes that Edun's approach will catch on, just like another domestic-related duty. "This is the fashion equivalent of mothers looking at the back of a can to see what exactly she's going to feed to her kids," Bono says. "We're answering a demand that's just stirring."
Bono's wife co-designs the clothing line along with Rogan, a designer who's known for fashions that emphasize organic fabrics and ethical guidelines.
Hewson explains that she and her hubby decided to get into the apparel business as the result of his many trips to Africa. She started to become concerned about how clothes were manufactured and began to wonder whether her own kids' clothes were being made by "other people's children."
Because of his concern for ordinary folks, Bono himself provides input as to where clothes are produced so that high standards for labor practices will be maintained.
The Left Coast Report would like to let interested readers know that Bono's conscientious duds can be purchased at your local Saks Fifth Avenue.
3. The Pitt-Jolie Air Sale
An eBay seller asked for bids on a one-quart Mason jar.
It wasn't just any old Mason jar, though. This one purportedly contained air that was captured at the Los Angeles area movie premiere for "Mr. And Mrs. Smith."
Photos of the glass object with the gassy contents were posted on the auction page showing the jar being held near Jolie and Pitt as they greeted adoring fans.
Along with the container, the winner of the auction would also get two "Mr. And Mrs. Smith" T-shirts.
The bidding was up to $510 until the folks at eBay removed the item.
But fear not, another eBay entrepreneur is hawking "Breath air from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie" and still another is selling an e-book on the "information on the Jar of Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie air removed from eBay."
The Left Coast Report wonders if next someone will try and auction off a Howard Dean yeeeeeeeeeaaaah.
4. PETA's Felonious Follies
Two suspects were recently arrested and charged with animal cruelty for allegedly picking up dogs and cats from shelters and dumping their dead bodies in the trash.
It was no routine arrest, though. Despite the fact that, unfortunately, this kind of cruelty is not uncommon, the two arrestees happen to work for one of Hollywood's favorite groups, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).
Police apparently had staked out a garbage bin after discovering that dead animals had been dumped in it for four weeks straight. Officers allegedly found 18 dead animals in the container and 13 more in a van that was registered to PETA.
PETA President Ingrid Newkirk explained that the two workers had been picking up animals so they could be brought to PETA headquarters for euthanization.
PETA spokeswoman Colleen O'Brien said the organization euthanizes animals by lethal injection, which it considers more humane than gassing animals in groups.
Both PETA workers have been charged with 31 felony counts of animal cruelty and eight misdemeanor counts of illegal disposal of dead animals.
Newkirk said PETA would be "appalled" to find out that the animals had been placed in the dumpster.
Veterinarians and animal control officers claimed that rather than euthanizing the animals the PETA workers had promised to find homes for them.
The Left Coast Report hears that Planned Parenthood may be looking to hire away some of the kindhearted pet-snuffing PETA employees.
5. Kate Hudson Sees Dead People
Apparently actress Kate Hudson inherited more from mom Goldie Hawn than just looks and talent. She got her mother's Miss Cleo gene as well.
Hudson claims to possess psychic capabilities, which were supposedly passed on to her from her comedic mother.
Evidently, Hudson also gets a charge out of chitchatting with the dearly departed.
She tells Empire magazine: "My mom is super into that stuff, we swap stories of our experiences all the time. I think I got my psychic abilities from her."
Hudson also shares that she's "seen ghosts and experienced mystical things. I've seen many ghosts."
Hudson tells about a female ghost that visited her in her boudoir.
"One night I woke up and saw a beautiful woman in my bedroom," Hudson says. "I was with an ex-boyfriend. I woke him up and said, 'Do you see what I'm seeing?' He said, 'No, what are you looking at?' I turned around and she was gone."
The actress describes another time when, at a young age while in London with her mom, she stayed "in a house that was so crazy-haunted that she [Goldie] just packed us up and got us out of there."
The Left Coast Report wonders if Hillary's kicking herself for not coming up with the genetic hypothesis to explain her Eleanor conversations.