Radio City Raunchy

Radio City Raunchy

Steve Malzberg
Monday, July 12, 2004

If this is what the self-described dream team of John Kerry and John Edwards means by "American values," then please 'bring it on.' Thursday night's star studded fundraiser at Radio City Music Hall brought in an estimated $7.5 million dollars for team John-John, and at the same time may have caused $100 million dollars worth of damage to the message they had started spreading just hours earlier.

On the very same day that John Kerry proclaimed that working class Americans live by American values and John Edwards let us know that both he and Kerry share the same values, the pair got a chance to take a stand and show the electorate exactly what they meant. And some might say they did just that.

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After rolling in the isles while listening to the likes of Whoopi Goldberg, singer John Mellencamp and comedian John Leguizamo trash George W. Bush by calling him a liar, a killer and a thug, (Goldberg also made sexual innuendos about the president's last name) team dream had a chance to take the stage and do the right thing.

But this was their party and they'd smile if they wanted to. And they did. Kerry, at the top of the American Values ticket thanked the performers and said they represent the heart and soul of our nation. The better looking of the Values ticket said he was honored to be there, and promised that the campaign would be a celebration of, what else, "Real American Values."

This all begs the question, just what are John Kerry's values? Here's one clue. On the same night that he found time to attend this hate-fest-fund-raiser, he told Larry King that he hadn't yet been briefed by the White House on the latest terror threats from al Qaeda. Those threats were laid out by Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge at a Thursday news conference. Kerry told King, "They've offered, I just haven't had the time."

Thursday's bash was reminiscent of another such event that took place last December. That one was a benefit for Howard Dean. Ironically enough, it also was staged in Manhattan. Deaniac comedians showed off their American values by using the "N" word, imitating National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice using a racist accent, and referring to President Bush as human waste.

Although Howard Dean did nothing to stop the parade of the vulgar, obscene and racist rants, he did eventually say, "I just don't have much tolerance for ethnic humor. We are all one community." I guess someone forgot to tell the performers.

And I guess someone forgot to tell John Kerry that although he's used to having things both ways on most issues, it will be pretty tough to run on American values, while the Bush team airs a TV spot showing him and little John cracking up while Whoopi uses President Bush's name to talk about female genitalia.