Lynn Woolley
Friday, July 2, 2004

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  Besides, it seems logical to use this title for Mr. Moore since “big” and “fat” are no longer accurate descriptions for the slimmed-up Rush Limbaugh.

That Mr. Moore is large and bloated is not in question here; that is simply an observation based on the long tradition of the Left of attacking their political opponents’ physical features. However, there may be some question as to whether Mr. Moore is a moron – and that all depends on how you look at it.

After all Michael Moore has parlayed the hoopla over Fahrenheit 9/11 into a media frenzy that pushed the movie to a record-breaking opening weekend in which Mr. Moore raked in a $21.8 million dollar haul. So from the standpoint of making some big bucks, maybe Mr. Moore is a shrewd customer.

But hold on!

In his book about Mr. Limbaugh, Al Franken didn’t use the term “idiot” because Rush was a financial failure. Indeed, Rush Limbaugh has the richest contract in all of talk radio. Mr. Franken’s contention that Mr. Limbaugh was an idiot rested mainly on two items:

First, that Mr. Limbaugh was big and fat.

Second, that Mr. Limbaugh was not telling the truth on his radio show. (Mr. Franken refers to Rush as “the world’s biggest hypocrite” and includes a contrived interview with his so-called “fact checker.”)

So let’s use just those two criteria to see if a similar case can be made with regard to Mr. Moore.

The big and fat argument – or in our case, large and bloated (so as not to risk a lawsuit by Mr. Franken) – is not in question. Mr. Moore’s clothes look like they come from Tent City and his actual weight would probably make a decent batting average. Not being privy to the secret sources that Mr. Franken used when revealing Rush’s weight fluctuations, we can simply say that from a pure observation standpoint, Mr. Moore most likely purchases two airline seats when he’s traveling alone. And the plane likely tilts in flight.

So what about the truth argument?

It’s generally conceded that Fahrenheit 9/11 has little to do with truth.

The Dallas Morning News ran an editorial showing the now-famous poster of Moore and President Bush holding hands and placed a circle with a slash over it. The News was simply pointing out that there’s not enough truth in the movie to even refer to it as a documentary.

Christopher Hitchens of Vanity Fair wrote on Slate.com that “To describe [the film] as dishonest and demagogic would almost be to promote those terms to the level of respectability.” Mr. Hitchens goes on to say that not even Al-Jazeera, on a bad day, would have broadcast this type of propaganda.

Meanwhile, those who despise George W. Bush are attending Fahrenheit 9/11 in droves and are cheering wildly. This is difficult to understand and seems to be in spite of the fact that, since President Clinton left office, the Left has suddenly stopped liking liars.

So can we expect a book from David Corn of The Nation entitled “The Lies of Michael Moore”? Will Joe Conason write a book called “Big Lies: Michael Moore’s Left Wing Propaganda Machine”? Will Mr. Franken write a book called “Lies and the Liberal Lying Liars Who Make Documentaries”?

Or Mr. Franken could simply write a sequel to his Rush Limbaugh book and call it “Michael Moore is a Large Bloated Moron and Other Observations.” You go for it, Al. And even though it’s our title, you’re quite welcome to use it.

Lynn Woolley’s new book “Clear Moral Objectives” is now available. He did not steal the title from Ray Bradbury. E-mail lynn@belogical.com.