Barry Farber
Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Assuming you're a Bush supporter (and such an assumption has an even chance of being gross these days), let's ask, Which kind of Bush supporter are you?

Do you want America to succeed in Iraq in order to assure President Bush's re-election? Or the reverse: Do you want George Bush to win re-election in order to assure success in Iraq?

I don't want to beat up on people who plan to vote the same way I do, but if you're a Plan A Bush voter - let's clean up the mess in Iraq so he can win - you and I have very little in common beyond the marking of our ballots.

After a lifetime of ridiculing single-issue voters, I've become one. Don't bother me with prescription drugs, Bush's anti-conservative spending habits, the growth of government, and lousy Republican stewardship over the wetlands.

We are at war!

Dammit, don't you understand? We are at WAR! Just because House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi doesn't feel it (her words, not mine!), that doesn't excuse the rest of us. This war, in spite of all that has gone wrong, is eminently winnable. I see not just goodness, but glory, if American policy succeeds. And, conversely, unending trouble if it doesn't. And I mean big trouble; possibly even civilization-ending trouble!

This may seem like a strange defense of President Bush. But it will be followed by an even stranger attack on Sen. John Kerry.

To save time, let me concede up front every single mistake, blunder, miscalculation and, yes, even lie the Bush administration has foisted upon us about Iraq.

Let me grant you that he and his fearless neo-con leaders knowingly used faulty intelligence to justify the invasion of Iraq. They imputed connections between Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein that can't be proven.

They even fell for the oldest scam in history: believing refugees whose sole motivation in life is the overthrow of the tyrant who overthrew them.

Go ahead! Load the cart! Pile on any other mistakes the president's team has made and, for argument's sake, I won t protest.

At the end of your anti-Bush denunciamiento I will quietly remind you that President George W. Bush emphatically reversed a craven American policy of non-response to terrorism and ACTED!

The best thing George W. Bush did after 9/11 was ... nothing, for a full three and a half weeks. And then, instead of cruise-missiling an aspirin plant in Sudan, America under President Bush invaded Afghanistan. And won. And we thereby denied al-Qaida and the Taliban the use of that nation-state with its ministries and embassies and laboratories and treasury and police and army and every other perk of state with which to continue a terrorist program.

President Bush then invaded Iraq. You can quarrel with that invasion. Americans quarreled with the American invasions of Anzio and Salerno along the Italian boot during World War II. Experts at the time railed against those operations as sacrificing too many soldiers to inflict too little misery against Adolf Hitler.

But nobody denied that those World War II invaders were attacking the ENEMY. Who will stand up now and claim Saddam Hussein was not, likewise, the enemy of the United States in the war on terror?

So, President Bush has shown the world he intends to extirpate the enemy wherever we can find him and remove from the likes of Saddam Hussein the means to make other people miserable, tortured and dead. And remove also Saddam's ability ever to ally with al-Qaida down the road. Blunderingly or expertly, wastefully or effectively, that's what President George W. Bush did.

Now, consider John Kerry and the Democrats. It did not take me a long time to decide to vote for President Bush's re-election. It DID, however, take me a long time to put my finger on the reason why I could NEVER vote for Sen. John Kerry or today's Democratic Party.

What is John Kerry's position on Iraq? I'm sure there is one and I'm sure it's carefully calibrated to appeal to as many Americans as possible while alienating as few as possible.

I think I understand President Bush's policy: Get in there and lay 48 different kinds of hell upon terrorists and those who wish America's demise.

And I think I understand Kerry's policy, too. And here's where we get thinky. Follow me, please, in what Einstein called a thought experiment.

Have you ever had a boss who patted you on the back a lot and was a good ole boy in all dimensions, except you knew that in this lifetime he would NEVER haul off and offer you a raise? Oh, he was there at your son's graduation. He posed proudly when your incredible series of 10-strikes won the bowling trophy for your firm. But you knew he would never, ever on his own steam pull you aside and say, "You know, you're a real asset to the firm and I think it's time we showed you a little appreciation!"

Have you even been with a woman (reverse it, please, if you're female!) who is pleasant as all get-out? She comes willingly to the table, makes spirited conversation, laughs at your jokes - including the ones that don't deserve it - but you KNOW the evening will end with nothing more meaningful than an innocent cheek-peck and an energetic assertion that "Thanks. I had a great time!" You KNOW that particular woman will never suddenly lean into you over the table, grab your hand in both of hers, and say something like "Hey, you know something? I think you're pretty special!"

And then there are situations most of us have been in where the Big Player knows how much you'd like to be invited into his business empire. He knows you've worked to qualify yourself for precisely that challenge. He's aware of your ample qualifications and he actually likes you and makes no effort to ban you from get-togethers during which he's a perfect doll to you and your date, wife or whoever.

HOWEVER, you also know he would NEVER in this lifetime whisper to you a suggestion that you call him next Monday to talk about a meeting to discuss a more meaningful association.

As the young ones say, SUCK IT UP!

That boss has NOTHING for you.

That date has NOTHING for you.

That genial mogul with an empire you'd like admission to has NOTHING for you.

And, my fellow Americans, neither Sen. John Kerry NOR the Democratic Party has ANYTHING for us who view the War on Terror as the most important thing in contemporary American life!

That boss had words, but no raise for you.

That woman (man) had chatter, but no affection for you.

That mogul had pleasantness, but no job for you.

And Sen. John Kerry and the Democrats of today have empty assurance, but no genuine anti-terrorist policy for us OR any determination to form one and fulfill it.

Do I therefore want President George W. Bush to invade more countries in the name of the war on terror? Stupid question. He didn't invade Brazil, Nigeria, Nepal or Norway. He invaded Iraq. Stand up and argue, please, if you believe Saddam's Iraq, having invaded Kuwait in 1990 and been disastrously repelled by an American-led coalition that destroyed his army, was not an enemy of America in the War on Terror.

George Bush HAS something for us who believe we're at war.

John Kerry has NOTHING for us who believe we're at war.

I therefore believe that if America puts Sen. John Kerry into the White House, we'll be back to Bill Clinton calling his security chief, Sandy Berger, and saying: "Dammit, Sandy, they've blown up two of our embassies in East Africa. Do you think if we take out an aspirin factory in Sudan and a few tents in Afghanistan, that'll do the trick? I don't mean reality-wise, Sandy. I mean ... you know ... IMAGE-wise!"

So, adroitly or maladroitly, President Bush seeks to haul off and destroy those who seek to destroy us. Sen. Kerry, on the other hand, seeks to contain the tornadoes of terrorism in one of Bill Clinton's old wet paper bags.

Some say our enemies are laughing because we're getting so many things wrong.

Under President Bush, at least, they have to keep worrying that we'll start getting them right.