James Hirsen
Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Kerry's Daughter Takes Film to Cannes One of the films on the Cannes line-up comes from a filmmaker with a unique resume. Her father is presumptive Democrat presidential nominee John Kerry.

Alexandra Kerry’s mother is not John’s current wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry. Rather, Alexandra is the offspring of a prior marriage between the senator and Julia Thorne.

The would-be prez’s daughter already has four short films under her belt. Her latest is a surreal story about a girl dealing with her father’s return from the Vietnam War.

Alexandra claims that beyond the father-daughter relationship, the movie is not autobiographical.

The Left Coast Report wonders if Chelsea Clinton is thinking of submitting a film about a daughter who’s dealing with her father being trapped in a Hooters after closing.

Ohio Dems Pick Delegate Springer

Ohio Democrats have chosen an unusual at-large delegate to send to the Democratic National Convention in July. It’s the tabloid-tongued talk-show host Jerry Springer.

Before hosting the lowbrow TV show he’s famous for, Springer was mayor of Cincinnati. He recently spent about $1 million to explore a possible run for Senate.

Springer ultimately decided not to challenge incumbent Republican Sen. George Voinovich. He is, however, considering a 2006 run for governor or Ohio’s other U.S. Senate seat.

The Dems welcome Springer’s involvement. Ohio Democratic Party spokesman Dan Trevas told the Associated Press: “He’s made 50 appearances at Democratic events this year. He’s been an outspoken advocate for the party.”

Jennifer Palmieri, spokeswoman for John Kerry’s campaign in Ohio, stated flatly, “We welcome all delegates.”

Republicans have a different opinion of Springer’s delegate status.

“They ought to be absolutely embarrassed and ashamed of this guy, but obviously standards take a back seat to power in the party of Bill Clinton,” Ohio Republican chairman Robert T. Bennett explained.

The Left Coast Report says some Dems are feeling embarrassed and ashamed of the guy who exploits people’s problems for mere ambition. But they plan to nominate him for president anyway.

Sylvester Stallone’s Musical Lawsuit

Sylvester Stallone is suing Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer and a production company over his legendary breakthrough flick.

One of the grounds of the suit claims that MGM stymied Stallone’s efforts to make a Broadway musical based on his first “Rocky” film.

The lawsuit, filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court, seeks damages against the studio and the production company. MGM spokeswoman Janet Janjigian says the lawsuit is without merit and declined any further comment.

Part of Stallone’s suit accuses the defendants of pulling out of the musical after they found out that the actor was going to co-produce and star in a boxing “reality” show called “The Contender.” In the series, amateur boxers move from training ground to boxing ring, with the winner getting $1 million and a chance to become a professional prizefighter.

The Left Coast Report says if airport slapping is allowed, a crowning “Contender” would be Richard Simmons.

Bono’s Ballooning Head

Bono is such a busy guy these days. How does the singer find any spare time to croon?

After all, he’s the one who started the tiff over the TV use of the “f” word. Now 24 media organizations are asking the FCC to reconsider its ruling, in which it reprimanded NBC for airing a Golden Globes broadcast that contained Bono’s adjective expletive.

He’s also the one who recently went on record to endorse Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin’s efforts in the global fight against AIDS. He said that Martin had “real political guts.”

And he showed up at Independence Mall, where he signed a petition for the One Campaign, a new effort that calls upon politicians to join in the fight against AIDS.

Maybe all the highfalutin activity has gone to his head. While attending the premiere of Brad Pitt’s epic flick, “Troy,” the New York Daily News asked Bono, “If you were a Greek god or goddess, who would you be?”

“I am a Greek god,” the rocker boldly replied.

The Left Coast Report imagines that upon hearing Bono’s proclamation, Arianna Huffington retorted, “U2?”

Kissing Off

In an interview on Melbourne's 3AW radio, Gene Simmons used his elongated tongue to speak his mind on Muslim extremists. The Kiss bass player said Muslim women have to walk behind their men and are not allowed to be educated or own homes.

He went on the talk about survival, explaining how “extremism believes that it’s OK to strap bombs on to your children and send them to paradise and whatever else and to behead people.”

“This is a vile culture,” the Israeli-born rocker said. “And if you think for a second that it’s willing to just live in the sands of God’s armpit, you’ve got another thing coming. They want to come and live right where you live, and they think that you’re evil.”

Simmons also asserted that the United Nations’ approach did not work and the West had to “speak softly and carry a big stick.”

The Left Coast Report thanks the makeup-wearing, blood-spitting Kiss rocker for doing what our politicians and press won’t – remind us about the kind of enemy that we really face.

The Left Coast Report is put together by James L. Hirsen and the staff of NewsMax.

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