Headlines (Scroll down for complete stories):
1. Radio Host Predicts Dean by a Hair
2. 'Breck Girl' Edwards Charms Iowa Dems
3. FCC's F-Word Ban Bad News for Kerry and Clark
4. White House Wannabes' Odd Job Experiences

1. Radio Host Predicts Dean by a Hair

Few know Iowa like its leading conservative talk show host, Jan Mickelson.

As the Iowa Caucus vote nears, NewsMax.com sat down with the broadcaster whose popular morning show broadcasts on News Radio 1040, WHO, out of Des Moines.

WHO and its 50,000-watt blowtorch signal give it a powerful voice across Iowa.

Ronald Reagan began his broadcasting career here, re-creating Chicago Cubs games for his listeners during the great depression years.

Dean is doing well in the state, Mickelson argues, because of the state's "angry Left." The radio host predicts the winner: "Dean by a hair."

He says Democrats in Iowa are a "minority of the minority" - there are 577,461 registered Dems, compared with 622,540 registered Republicans and 783,285 registered Independents.

Despite having an edge on registration rolls, Republicans often lose in Iowa because the GOP offers up "poor candidates."

"Howard Dean is right that the activists are the ones who show up at the caucuses ... and the activists are the ones who are the least happy about stuff," Mickelson said. "Happy people don't change history and that's certainly the case here. Howard Dean is the angry man who appeals to the angry left."

Another factor is the high number of people dependent on government assistance.

"You've got farmers that are on welfare. You've got a huge senior population on welfare. And you've got a huge amount of government employees on welfare," said Mickelson. "And the party that appeals to the recipients of opium are ... I hate to be so blunt about it, but the DNC should be renamed 'opium' ..."

Mickelson says so far the only Democratic candidates who have appeared on his show are Sen. John Kerry of Mass., Sen. John Edwards of N.C., and Sen. Joe Lieberman of Conn.

"Those are the only ones who will come on the program. The rest of them have been warned to stay away," he said.

Asked which of the Democrats he'd like to see win the nomination, Mickelson jokes, "Al Sharpton."

"Actually I don't have a horse in this race. I didn't vote for Bush either. I'm a small 'D' ... disenfranchised," he said.

Of Dennis Kucinich, Mickelson also made a prediction: "He's coming on strong. Yeah, he can move from a half a percent all the way up to a percent."

"The Communist Party of America on their Web site a few weeks ago said that they were not going to field a candidate this year because they were adequately represented by Kucinich," Mickelson said.

2. 'Breck Girl' Candidate Charms Iowa Dems

It's well known that being vertically challenged can harm a presidential candidate (just ask Michael Dukakis, though shrimpiness was the least of his problems), but can someone be too cute?

Apparently so.

In a vapid but fitfully amusing fashion article on the White House wannabes, the New York Times says freshman Sen. John Edwards, pushing 50 but still boyish-looking, has an "issue to combat - that he is, for lack of a more appropriate phrase, too pretty" and during the campaign has been teased "for his perfectly coiffed hair and dubbed the Breck Girl."

Edwards, the Times' style mavens gush, has recently made progress in his effort to appear a Bush-style regular guy by donning "fleece-lined windbreakers."

Whether it's his gorgeous tresses or the windbreakers or his decision to run a (comparatively) positive soft-soap campaign, the gazillionaire trial lawyer has pundits in a lather by winning hearts and minds in Iowa and rising in the polls.

Two years ago one of our chief sources in the Bush administration scoffed when we predicted Edwards would run for the White House and prove a threat, but we knew that made-for-TV hair would help hide that semi-empty noggin.

Our advice to the senator if his homelier rivals keep mocking him: Forget about Breck. Those old Pantene commercials provide a perfect slogan: "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

3. FCC's F-Word Ban Bad News for Kerry and Clark

We enjoyed a good chuckle when we read how Michael Powell at the Federal Communications Commission wants a tenfold increase in fines for obscene language.

Our first thought: How could John "F." Kerry and Wesley Clark campaign effectively without expressing their true selves?

Alert readers will recall that, although this senator from Taxachusetts uses his initials to try to exploit the memory of a far different JFK, Kerry revealed a more accurate meaning of his middle initial by recently expressing on the campaign trail a certain naughty seven-letter gerund.

Clark committed a similar gaffe, but instead of "F." his middle initials will have to be "G.D."

4. White House Wannabes' Odd Job Experiences

Which candidate has the work history suitable for a president? Consider their first jobs, as reported by the Associated Press, with commentary supplied by us:

Howard Dean: Cleared land at a Florida cattle ranch at age 16. Uh oh: Do the environuts know about this?

Sen. John Kerry: Unloaded trucks. Now he's unloading fertilizer.

Sen. Joe Lieberman: Cleaned restrooms at a factory.

Sen. John Edwards was a real jerk … a soda jerk at Tar Heel Drug Co. in Robbins, N.C.

Wesley Clark: Camp counselor. That experience telling ghost stories was good practice for the horror stories he's trying to scare the public with.

Al Sharpton: Youth director at Operation Breadbasket in New York under Jesse Jackson, now his archenemy.

Reps. Dick Gephardt and Dennis Kucinich: Grocery delivery boys.

President Bush, by the way, was a runner at a law firm. No wonder he's so good at running for office.