James Hirsen
Wednesday, Sept. 3, 2003

Tom Cruise recently paid a little visit to the Land of the Rising Sun.

He was in Japan to promote his movie “The Samurai.” But in true celebrity de-facto ambassador style, the actor took the opportunity to do something else – croon some karaoke tunes with Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.

In addition to singing a few Elvis songs, Koizumi revealed that the duo performed the tune “I Want You, I Need You, I Love You.”

Cruise let it be known that he thinks the Japanese leader is “an extraordinary man” and “a pretty good singer.”

The Left Coast Report suggests for an encore the two Elvis impersonators might consider getting together with North Korea’s Elvis look-alike dictator, Kim Jong Il, for one rousing rendition of “Give Peace a Chance.”

Boss Talk for Al Franken

The same guy who got us up on our feet with songs such as “Dancing in the Dark” and grounded us with tunes such as “My Hometown” is apparently a fan of gripe peddler extraordinaire Al Franken.

At Giants Stadium, just before playing “Land of Hope and Dreams,” Bruce Springsteen urged the audience to read the latest bilge from Franken.

Springsteen explained to the 50,000 fans that “the question of whether we go to war in Iraq is not a liberal or a conservative question.” Then he urged the crowd to read Franken’s “Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them.”

The Left Coast Report thinks the Boss had better watch out or he could end up having his New Jersey residency revoked.

Alec Baldwin Dumps on Arnold

After Martin Sheen, Woody Harrelson, Woody Allen and others took a swipe at Arnold Schwarzenegger, Alec Baldwin couldn’t restrain himself any longer. Baldwin showed up on CNBC’s “News with Brian Williams” and mouthed more of the same old stale “stealing the election” stuff.

“There is a pattern of this kind of electoral nullification for people who are opponents of elected officials, typically Democratic officials now. I believe that this is, though not part of some orchestrated conspiracy, it's the same thing you see in the Clinton impeachment and in the Florida election in 2000 and 2002, where the reforms that were promised after the 2000 election were not put in place by the, the state of Florida, the Texas redistricting as well and now this recall,” Baldwin clamored.

He showered Arnold with faint praise just for good measure. “Schwarzenegger is a great guy. He's a, he's a great businessman and figure in the entertainment world, everybody who's worked with him in my business loves him and thinks he's a really great guy, but he is not qualified to be the governor of the state of California.”

The Left Coast Report thinks that the public would love to get a glimpse of the credentials that qualify Baldwin to engage in such expert political pooh-poohing.

Harrison Ford’s Mind Reduction

Recently, while promoting the film flop “Hollywood Homicide” over in Madrid, Harrison Ford went on a harangue about U.S. policy toward Iraq.

“I'm very disturbed about the direction American foreign policy is going. I think something needs to be done to help alleviate the conditions which have created a disenfranchised and angry faction in the Middle East. I don't think military intervention is the correct solution. I regret what we as a country have done so far,” the actor grumbled.

Ford is also “troubled” by a couple of other things; namely, guns and cinematic special effects.

He said: “I'm very troubled by the proliferation of arms, at the fact so many people in the United States carry guns. It obviously contributes greatly to the crime problems we have. I'm sure gun laws should be strengthened in the United States. I just don't know the correct mechanism.”

Just a few months ago, Ford told the press that he didn’t do “violent films.” Apparently he forgot about all the shooting in “Hollywood Homicide.” And he decries the use of special effects like those used in “Star Wars” and “Indiana Jones,” those FX-packed films that made him the star he is today.

“I think American films right now are suffering from an excess of scale. Lots of movies we're seeing now are more akin to video games than stories about human life and relationships,” said Ford. By the way, he mentioned he was due to begin filming “Indiana Jones IV” shortly.

The Left Coast Report wonders if Ford’s mind is being shrunk by the Calista Flockhart diet.

Anthony Hopkins Is P.C.: Politically Courageous

Oscar winner Anthony Hopkins is taking on political correctness.

His new film, “The Human Stain,” deals with the freedom-killing trend, which the Welsh-born actor rightly describes as “a cancer.”

Director Robert Benton pointed out that it took guts for Hopkins to take on the political hot potato. Benton said, “The risk he took, the courage it took for him to do this role is amazing.”

The movie is based on a novel by Philip Roth in which a professor’s career is ruined by an unfair accusation of racism. The scholar’s life goes downhill until he meets a character played by Nicole Kidman. Patriot Gary Sinise plays the prof’s best buddy.

The Left Coast Report doesn’t know how Hollywood, global headquarters of the P.C. movement, let this one slide by, but let’s hope it’s a harbinger.

Michael Moore’s Labored Letter

Michael Moore recently wrote a letter to his fans accusing President Bush of being too involved in raising cash.

“Instead of protecting the country or addressing the nation’s floundering economy, he’ll be raising money for his re-election campaign in Ohio.”

It seems that Moore knows quite a bit about raising dough himself. In a previous “message,” the documentary contriver gleefully informed his followers about the “good news” that “you can save a bunch by buying them [‘Bowling for Columbine’ and ‘Roger and Me’ DVDs] both together.”

In addition to liking a hefty personal cash flow, Moore also likes making ridiculous comparisons.

“Bush is on pace to raise almost $200 million in time for the Republican primaries where his only competition will be his own dismal record. In Minnesota this past Tuesday, Bush raised $1.4 million by giving a 24-minute speech. That’s about $60,000 for each minute of “work.” By contrast, the weekly salary of the average American worker is a staggering $616,” writes Moore.

The Left Coast Report believes Moore must be using an old Soviet calculator. In communist countries where many workers toil in horrible conditions for slave wages, it would take around 27 years to earn what an average American worker earns in one year.

Woody Allen on California Politics

Woody Allen recently made a stop at the Venice Film Festival to hawk “Anything Else,” another big-screen venture into the world of neuroses.

While standing on E.U. soil, the eminently unhinged director couldn’t resist a little political commentary.

Besides saying that Arnold Schwarzenegger wouldn’t be able to make a difference in California because he lacked “political background” and “experience,” Allen suggested that the residents of the Golden State shouldn’t be allowed to exercise their rights under their own Constitution.

“I don't think that they should be allowed to get rid of the government they have no matter how dissatisfied they are with it in the middle of its term,” Allen said.

The Left Coast Report points out that, thankfully, in this country we still have the freedom to take a pass on unintelligent, unimaginative and uneventful flicks.

The Left Coast Report is put together by James L. Hirsen and the staff of NewsMax.

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