James Hirsen
Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2003

Ed Asner has become boringly predictable.

When criminally insane terrorists kill thousands of our fellow citizens, it’s our fault.

When evil dictators imprison and kill for mere dissent, it’s our fault.

When entertainment jobs depart from places like California, it’s our fault.

Why? Well, in Asner-world, it’s because “we are pigs.”

Recently, at the 72nd Annual Couchiching Conference in Canada, Lou Rant brought his lack of wisdom to a panel discussion on national cultural identity.

Couchiching Institute on Public Affairs is Canada’s largest and oldest public affairs forum. It purportedly strives to bring people together to discuss vital public policy issues of the day. This, of course, makes aging left-wing Hollywood actors mandatory participants.

At the conference, Asner spoke about the filmmaking and television industries, two giants that in the last 15 years have grown in Canada, thanks to federal, provincial and local incentives.

He complained about the loss of jobs in the Los Angeles area and placed the blame for a myriad of society’s tribulations on the Left’s whipping boy: evil corporations.

“It’s to your credit that you do that for your country,” he said. “We don’t do a damned thing in our country, because we are pigs.”

The Left Coast Report explains that the reason the entertainment business flees from Gray Davis’s California nightmare is the same reason that other enterprises split: high taxes, lefty burdensome regulation and the inability to make a profit.

Kevin Costner Gets All Wet

Kevin Costner directed and starred in “Open Range,” a new Western flick.

The Hollywood celeb apparently now believes the movie credential somehow qualifies him to give pointers on how to avoid Western-style thinking. And he’s offering the advice to, of all people, the president of the United States.

Costner has expressed concern over George W. Bush’s cowboy image. “We’re supposed to evolve from frontier justice,” he said.

“You have to be a citizen of the world. ... These are difficult waters to negotiate, and you have to be a pretty evolved person to be able to do it.”

Speaking of water, on ABC’s “Primetime” Costner explained to Diane Sawyer that “they don't have that ‘Waterworld’ ride in Universal Studios because it’s not popular.” He was quick to note, though, that “it's a great movie, it really is.”

The waterlogged wonder says that the Old West “is a good thing to have in your spine. But it shouldn't operate your brain.”

The Left Coast Report believes, in or out of a wetsuit, it’s a whole lot better to have a presidential brain that’s influenced by the Old West than the New Left.

George Clooney on Gore, War and Lefty Folklore

Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson says that watching George Clooney videos while she’s working out gives her perseverance.

Clooney “keeps me going,” the Weight Watchers belle maintains.

Now if only Clooney’s ideas matched his good looks. Seems his latest theory is that the U.S.A. fought a war in Iraq because of Monica.

Here’s the cause and effect, according to Clooney. If not for the stained blue dress, Al Gore wouldn’t have had to distance himself from Bill Clinton during the last presidential election, Gore would’ve won the presidency, and the U.S. wouldn’t have had to go to war in Iraq.

Clooney offered this quote to the London Sun: “It’s ridiculous – Lewinsky performs a sex act on the president, therefore we attack Iraq.”

The Left Coast Report wonders what’s next for Clooney – blame the California recall on Heidi Fleiss?

Can Dr. Zhivago Treat a Head Butt?

Actor Omar Sharif, best known for “Dr. Zhivago,” recently received a one-month suspended sentence and a $1,700 fine for his extracurricular cranium activity. Allegedly, he head-butted a police officer.

Le Parisien newspaper reported that Sharif got into a spat with a croupier while playing roulette at a casino.

According to the newspaper, when a cop asked Sharif to leave, the actor insulted and assaulted him.

The Left Coast Report is trying to find out whether the rumors about Sharif taking etiquette lessons from Woody Harrelson are true.

The Skinny on the Terminator

Well, it’s official.

I’m not talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s announcement to run for governor, although that has been duly, popularly and procedurally proclaimed. I’m talking about the Democrat sleaze campaign.

The peskily perky one led the charge. Katie Couric, all dressed up in her best reporter camouflage, let loose with this loaded lard-ball of a question:

“Let me ask you about his – his baggage, if you will. He's admitted smoking marijuana, using steroids during his body-building career; he's the son of a Nazi party member; he said he was prejudiced before overcoming those feelings by working with the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles, and the dean of the center said an investigation of Schwarzenegger's late father conducted at the actor's request found no evidence of war crimes. Through his publicist he's denied allegations published in Premiere magazine in March 2001 that he sexually harassed women and committed infidelity. All those things, are they going to be front and center, Darry [Sragow, Democrat strategist], if you – do you think in this campaign?”

With an inquiry like that, why bother to pretend you’re doing an interview? Just introduce the segment as a Katie commentary and have a crew member walk up and pull the Chatty Cathy string.

The Dems have also sent faxes and e-mails to prominent conservatives, hoping to take away support from Schwarzenegger’s base by pointing out that he’s liberal on social issues.

But Schwarzenegger is more complex in his politics than some are suggesting. In reality, he’s a lot closer to Dick Cheney than Jim Jeffords.

Arnold has a bust of Ronald Reagan in his office. He’s been known to say that “Reagan was heaven.” He’s attended numerous dinners of the libertarian Reason Foundation. He gives copies of Milton Friedman’s “Free to Choose” to friends as gifts.

When Friedman's PBS program came out, he jumped at the chance to introduce the series. He said the book had changed his life. During the program, Arnold said: “Individualism like that is incompatible with socialism. I felt I had to come to America, where the government wasn't always breathing down your neck or standing on your shoes.”

Much has been made of the fact that Arnold married into the Kennedy clan. But the Shriver wing of the family is different than what most people think of when envisioning Teddy Kennedy. For example, Patricia Heaton’s Feminists for Life organization named Arnold’s mother-in-law, Eunice Shriver, as a “Remarkable Pro-Life Woman.”

In my book, “Tales from the Left Coast,” I indicate some of the groups in Hollywood that have targeted Arnold in the past and many of the political foes with which he’ll have to contend. I also highlight the advantages Arnold Schwarzenegger has in the California recall election.

In one chapter, “The Politics of Fame,” I talk about influence – the stock in trade of Hollywood. I describe the many forms that influence can take.

The Left Coast Report thinks this Tinseltown influence may well be the determining factor in the California recall.

Pink Fury

Punky pop star Pink has faxed a handwritten note to Anna Wintour, the editor of Vogue.

Pink is ticked at designers who have been sending the singer fur in various shades of pink. She writes that she has “always been fur-free.”

In the note, Pink urges Wintour to “modernize your magazine and stop promoting fur.”

“If your readers knew the horrors that these animals go through to supply a hairy swath of skin ... they would gag.”

Pink proposes a compromise. She recommends that if the magazine can’t eliminate the fur, it ought to run anti-fur ads from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

The Left Coast Report doesn’t suppose we’ll be finding any copies of Ted Nugent’s “Kill It and Grill It” in Pink’s kitchen.

Willie Nelson’s Heroes in Hiding

Senior country singer Willie Nelson has found some new heroes to croon about – the 11 Democrat state senators from Texas who have been hiding out in New Mexico.

Nelson, who once sang a song with Waylon Jennings called “My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys,” now apparently sees dastardly Dems who run away from their job as heroic.

“I think they're great," Nelson said. "I think they're heroes, and we're all very proud of them.” Who’s we?

The 11 Senate clowns have been hiding in New Mexico to block a legislative quorum on congressional redistricting. Now the matter is tied up in the courts in dueling lawsuits.

When the House Dems ran off to Oklahoma in May over the same redistricting issue, Nelson sent them whiskey, red bandanas and a note telling them to “stand your ground.”

The Left Coast Report says if Willie thinks those who run from responsibility are heroes, he ought to really love deadbeat dads, military deserters and the teetering California Gov. Gray Davis.

The Left Coast Report is put together by James L. Hirsen and the staff of NewsMax.

Get your FREE copy of James Hirsen’s New York Times best-selling book “Tales from the Left Coast”: Click here now.

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