James Hirsen
Tuesday, July 1, 2003

Five battling Dems put aside their disagreements long enough to please the Hollywood crowd and take some whacks at President Bush.

Robert Redford, Barbra Streisand, Arianna Huffington, Alan Ladd Jr., “Pulp Fiction” producer Lawrence Bender and Laurie David (wife of “Seinfeld” co-creator Larry David) were behind the League of Conservation Voters debate in Los Angeles. So says the New York Daily News.

League of Conservation Voters, which hosted the event on the eve of Bush's arrival in southern California, also ran a 30-second TV advertisement just as Air Force One was landing in L.A. The ad claimed that Bush has raised “millions from corporate polluters” while rolling back environmental protections.

Although some of Hollywood's king makers were upset that the recipient of the Streisand memos, Dick Gephardt, was a debate no-show, those Dems who did appear were generally aiming to please the Bush-haters in Tinseltown.

“This is the most anti-environment administration in our history,” Sen. Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut sniveled.

Al Sharpton referred to an EPA report that downplayed the theory of global warming as “a document that is just as flawed as the document of weapons of mass destruction.”

And Carol Moseley Braun said the administration “lied to the American people” on environmental issues.

The Left Coast Report asks, Is this what Bill Clinton was talking about when he said liberals don’t sink to the level of the right and dehumanize their opponents?

Moore Fakery

Michael Moore’s political paranoia seems to be getting the better of him. He’s posted a letter on his Web site called “I Never Promised You a Ruse Garden.”

The gyrating leftist apparently felt compelled to speak out after parts and documents for a nuclear weapons program were discovered in Iraq.

Moore basically criticized Bush for not committing fraud by writing “It's not the lying and the doctoring of intelligence that has me all upset. It's that you've [President Bush] had control of Iraq for over two months now -- and you couldn't even find the time to plant just a few nukes or vats of nerve gas and at least make it LOOK like you weren't lying to us.”

Continuing with his half-baked harangue, Moore wrote: “You see, by not faking some evidence of weapons of mass destruction, it shows that you thought no one would mind if it turned out you made everything up. A different kind of president, who believes that the American public would be outraged if they ever found out the truth, would go to great lengths to cover up his subterfuge.”

The Left Coast Report guesses that Moore is pretty confident with his own assessment. After all, he has made a career out of fakery.

Barbra Streisand Borrows Phrase From Michael Savage

Streisand might not have done it intentionally, but the title and theme of her latest Web site ditty was previously popularized by ace talk show host and master wordsmith Michael Savage.

After a seething tirade about Bush’s “lies,” Streisand explains on her site how the president’s action can “trickle down to the culture as a whole.” Streisand writes: “The president is our leader, the figurehead of the country, a father figure. Are the ‘children’ supposed to follow his example? Are we in an era of trickle-down immorality, like trickle-down economics? The country sees their leader not telling the truth. These actions send a message that you don’t have to mean what you say, that you don’t have to care about other people, that you can do whatever you have to do or say whatever you have to say to get ahead. Is that the message we want to impart to our children? Is that the culture we want to live in?”

The Left Coast Report wonders whether Streisand inadvertently left out the word “former” in her description of the president. Not only does the tattered shoe fit the ex-prez perfectly, we’d feel better about Babs if she admitted that worrying about trickle-down immorality was warranted all those years that her favorite compartmentalizer was dropping drawers in the Oval Office.

Martin Sheen’s Dean-mail

Martin Sheen has written a fund-raising e-mail message for his candidate of choice – former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean.

It seems that Sheen is all keyed up because Dean has done “something we haven't seen in our country in decades.”

In addition to living in a fictitious White House, the actor apparently resides in a parallel universe, too. Evidently, Dean captured Sheen’s political heart when he spoke out against the “crisis of community our current President has created at home” and cited “the Bush administration's abandonment of the heritage of America as the Idealistic Moral force in the world.”

As a supporter of Dean, Sheen asks that “we all do something together to move his candidacy and the cause of America forward.”

And how do we do this? By writing a check for a hundred bucks to Dean’s campaign, of course.

The Left Coast Report believes if Dean’s rhetoric is far enough left to attract Martin Sheen, we should be seeing Hans Blix endorsing Dean any day now.

Born to Hobnob

U.S. Reps. Billy Tauzin and Mary Bono are rumored to be interested in the job of chairman of Recording Industry Association of America, a post soon to be vacated by Hilary Rosen.

At a D.C. restaurant farewell fest for Rosen, attendees were treated to a video that featured congressional rappers Tauzin and Bono. Who knew?

According to the Washington Post, the tune that the duo performed on tape was a take-off of Eminem's “Lose Yourself” called “Yo, We're Politicians!” Here’s a sampling of the lyrics:

I love music, how 'bout Sonny and Cher?
I love royalties, so kids please be fair.
You still don't think we're the ones for the job?
Yo, we're politicians. We were born to hobnob!
Piracy bad. Piracy bad. Piracy bad.

After the music faded, the screen went black and a message came on, which read: “WARNING: The pirating of this video is strictly prohibited by federal law.”

The Left Coast Report hears that some hip-hop fans got a glimpse of the video and have decided to give up rap forever.

Schwarzenegger's Smokin’

It might be his fondness for cigars or his penchant for politics. But recently, Arnold Schwarzenegger spoke out against Mayor Michael Bloomberg's anti-smoking policy in New York City. And he gave a hint of his political philosophy to boot.

Schwarzenegger disagrees with the mayor’s approach. He told the New York Post, “I think that other people shouldn't have to inhale the smoke if they don't want to, but I would do it differently.”

The man who would be California’s governor came up with a commonsense solution. “I would have some restaurants that are smoking restaurants and some non-smoking so there is a choice. Now there is no choice, so I think it's a little overboard.”

Meanwhile, despite the boost Arnold gave to his wife’s uncle, Ted Kennedy, the senator told the Boston Herald that he would not support the action star if he ran for governor of California.

Teddy had some one-liners ready. He told the Herald: “I never argue with Arnold, particularly when he's holding me by my ankles upside-down. But I intend to support the Democrat.”

Apparently, Teddy is still perplexed that the guy married to his niece is a Republican.

“I'm not sure where Arnold gets his political instincts,” Kennedy said. “People often say that for Kennedys, it's in the water. Arnold seems to be a staunch Republican, so I've asked Maria to check their plumbing.”

The Left Coast Report says for some Kennedys, it may be the water. But for Ted, it’s the Scotch and water.

Dennis Miller Is Just Right

Dennis Miller has slowly journeyed to the conservative side of the political spectrum. Now he’s also become an important celebrity feature of President Bush's re-election effort.

In California, a state where in the 2000 presidential election he trailed Al Gore by 12 percentage points, Bush can use all the celebrity help he can get. As it turns out, he’s gotten something else from the Golden State that every candidate dreams of: $5.1 million in campaign funds.

While Bush was on the stump in California, his supporters got to hear some choice words from Miller.

He referred to himself as “a Rat Pack of one for the president in Hollywood.”

He gave some fuel to the recall-Gray-Davis forces when he observed that California is “now buying energy at mini-bar prices.”

He teased the earthquake-prone California by explaining that it no longer has a San Andreas Fault. “It’s Gray Davis’ fault,” chimed the comedian.

Applying some of his patented political humor to an appraisal of the Democrat slate of presidential wannabes, Miller said, “I haven't seen a starting nine like that since the '62 Mets.”

His comment about Sen. Robert “KKK” Byrd of West Virginia drew a few moans. “I think he must be burning the cross at both ends,” Miller wisecracked.

Proving the growing prominence of Howard Dean, Miller took a shot at the former Vermont governor. “He can roll up his sleeves all he wants at public events, but as long as we see that heart tattoo with Neville Chamberlain's name on his right forearms, he's never going anywhere,” Miller quipped.

The Left Coast Report thinks now more than ever, it’s Miller time.

The Left Coast Report is put together by James L. Hirsen and the staff of NewsMax.

Join James Hirsen as he slaps Hollywood upside its political head in his blockbuster book, “Tales From the Left Coast,” available now.