James Hirsen
Tuesday, March 4, 2003

Although Martin Sheen, Susan Sarandon and Janeane Garofalo have been dominating the anti-war airwaves of late, some stars with differing points of view have decided to speak up.

Bruce Willis, Brian McKnight, Kid Rock, Rob Lowe and Jean-Claude Van Damme are saying things that are undoubtedly making the anti-war crowd steam. On the other hand, the celebrity rhetoric that’s coming out of these guys is warming the hearts of the kick-Saddam’s-butt bunch.

According to the New York Daily News, Willis seriously thought about enlisting in the U.S. armed services.

Singer Brian McKnight told MSNBC, “If we do go to war ... I'm going to support whatever President Bush decides to do.”

Kid Rock colorfully expressed his views by saying, “We got to kill that mother-[bleeper] Saddam. Slit his throat.”

Rob Lowe, Sheen’s former co-star on “The West Wing,” told Fox News Channel's "Fox & Friends" on Monday that Americans should support our armed forces, and that the best way to do that is to support our commander in chief.

And action movie star Jean-Claude Van Damme told Globe magazine, “Some of those in Hollywood are part of the axis of ignorance!”

The Left Coast Report says it’s nice to know that there are celebrities with the mental muscle to go against the grain.

Score One for Powell

It’s become almost routine for members of the American press to throw dumb or leading questions at members of the Bush administration.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why Secretary of State Colin Powell seemed so well prepared for the shifty question recently hurled at him by an Iraqi reporter.

According to the New York Post, one of Saddam’s newshounds asked Powell, “Isn't it true that only 13 percent of young Americans can locate Iraq on a map?”

“That may be true,” Powell countered. “You're probably right. But unfortunately for you, all 13 percent are Marines.”

The Left Coast Report doesn’t expect that Al Jazeera will be broadcasting that little exchange any time soon.

License to Shill

Rumors have been flying. We heard he had his eyes set on the U.N. secretary-general slot. We heard he might go after the chancellorship of Oxford University. We even heard he’d be perfect as a talk show host on CBS, NBC or one of the other networks.

Now we get news of his possible venture into the movie realm. Yes, reports indicate that Bill Clinton may be appearing in the next James Bond film.

According to the Star, Pierce Brosnan has offered the gig to the limelight-loving “X”-prez. Clinton apparently responded in the affirmative and told Brosnan to call his reps. The Left Coast Report suggests that producers cast him as a new Bond villain – “Oldfinger.”

Anti-War Bandwagon

Not content to sit by and let actors hog all of the P.R., musicians have decided to strike an anti-war chord of their own.

Australia's Shock Records is offering a double CD set called “Peace Not War.” The collection will include tunes by Midnight Oil, Public Enemy and Billy Bragg.

And Madonna has indicated that her “American Life” video shows the horrors of war. Presumably, it accomplishes its goal while still having teens claim that it’s easy to dance to and has a really good beat.

Now in an echo of the actors’ group Artists United to Win Without War, Def Jam founder Russell Simmons has helped to create Musicians United to Win Without War. And just like the actors, the musicians plan to do the print and TV ad thing.

Musical activists include David Byrne, Rosanne Cash, Lou Reed, R.E.M. and Dave Matthews, who in a recent TV appearance couldn’t quite recall the full name of the group.

Simmons told USA Today that P. Diddy “is more well-known and well liked by young people across the world than George Bush. Jay-Z is more well-known than Colin Powell. These are powerful voices that can make a difference.”

Simmons also uttered, “Saddam Hussein is a horrible person, but that's Iraq's problem; George Bush – that's America's problem.”

The Left Coast Report thinks MUWWW should really stand for Musicians United in Witless Wrongheaded Wackiness.

China’s Getting Stoned

The Rolling Stones’ “Forty Licks” tour is going to add two new stops to its list: Beijing and Shanghai. It will be the first time Mick & Co. perform in the most populated country in the world.

China’s most famous rocker, Cui Jian, will open for the Stones in Beijing. Cui has rarely been allowed to play big shows in the capital because he performed in Tiananmen Square during the 1989 protests.

Front-row seats aren’t going to be cheap. They’re being sold for $750. That’s about what the average Chinese person makes in a whole year.

The Left Coast Report is confident that the Stones will be treated with respect – the same way the Chinese culture treats all of its elderly citizens.

Spike & Mike

Director Spike Lee has thrown his 2 cents’ worth into the debate on a potential war in Iraq.

While in London to promote his film “25th Hour,” Lee referred to President Bush and Prime Minister Tony Blair as the “Killer B’s.” According to Lee: “This has nothing to do with disarmament. It’s about oil.”

Meanwhile in Aspen, Colo., the pre-eminent disseminator of disinformation, Michael Moore, was picking up another accolade. This one was the Freedom of Speech Award from the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival.

Moore urged the press to uncover a possible deal between the Bush administration and Russia to carve up Iraq's oil fields after a regime change in Iraq.

Moore’s rhetoric was even stronger when he picked up a Book of the Year Award in London. The multimillionaire sham “working man” said, “America is being led into war with Iraq by a guy who can’t even find it on a map.”

The Left Coast Report recommends that after the U.S. victory in Iraq, Spike and Mike work on a film together. How about a movie called “Do the Right Thing for a Change”?

Carmen Electra’s Civic Duty

We all know celebrities get special attention in our society. And we know that within the entertainment programming fare celebrity justice has become a subcategory all its own.

Well, now the pattern of preferential treatment is apparently extending to the jury room. This is what happened recently when Carmen Electra, who used to be on the beaches of “Baywatch,” was selected as one of the jurors in a real-life courtroom drama.

After just one day of service, the actress was dismissed from fulfilling her civic duties because of the effect she was having on fellow jurors.

According to the New York Daily News, some of the female jurors were asking Electra to telephone their husbands and boyfriends. A source told the paper: “Carmen was such a distraction for everyone in the courthouse. So it didn't make much sense to have her around the next day - and the judge made the wise decision to dismiss her.”

The Left Coast Report sees a job change in Electra’s future. Because stars have been getting into lots of legal hot water these days and Carmen has the ability to create a major distraction in the courtroom, sounds as if she’d make the perfect celebrity defense attorney.

The Left Coast Report is put together by James L. Hirsen and the staff of NewsMax.

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