James Hirsen
Sunday, March 31, 2002

March 31, 2002

It seems as if some entertainers live inside a bubble. A recent story in the London Daily Mirror appears to confirm it.

Apparently, Britney Spears managed to alienate thousands of British teens who had crowded into London's Leicester Square. Enthusiastic fans were hoping to get a glimpse of the pop icon whose film, "Crossroads," was debuting at the Odeon Theater.

Britney kept the group waiting for more than an hour. She then raced into the theater without even giving a wave, but jeers worked to bring her back out for a brief photo pose.

Britney wasn't quite done with her missteps. When told that Alastair Campbell is a big fan of hers, the singer asked who Campbell was.

Britney was informed that Campbell was Tony Blair's right-hand man.

Still puzzled, she responded, "Tony Blair? I've never heard of him either. Who is he?" She was quickly advised that Tony Blair is the prime minister of the U.K.

In a "not yet a woman" moment, Britney responded that prime minister is a "real tough job" and added, "It's really cool that this guy Alastair Campbell likes me, then."

The Left Coast Report believes Britney has demonstrated the knowledge it takes to be a full-blown, Hollywood political activist.

Little House to House of Reps

Some celebs seem ready to take a more reasoned approach these days when it comes to political discussion.

After being advised by staff and friends not to venture into "Factor" territory, Rosie O'Donnell ignored the well-intentioned warnings and sat for an interview with Bill O'Reilly anyway. Both survived the experience.

Now the new president of the Screen Actors Guild, Melissa Gilbert, is getting to know someone that she may have avoided conversation with in the past: House Majority Whip Tom DeLay, a.k.a. "The Hammer."

DeLay came to Los Angeles to address concerns about Hollywood producers leaving to film outside of the U.S.

After lunching with Delay, Gilbert, a Democrat, told the Washington Post, "He didn't have his horns and his forked tail at lunch, and I didn't notice any satanic behavior." She added, "He asked informed questions and was supportive. Clearly this is a relationship that needs to be developed."

The Left Coast Report thinks DeLay, a former exterminator, is needed in Hollywood to get rid of the infestation of bias against conservatives.

Liza's Damage Control

Liza Minnelli, who recently made headlines with her flamboyant wedding, is trying to quash a rumor. A tabloid is reporting that her new hubbie, David Gest, is gay.

The famed singer is apparently going to great lengths to counter the story. She told the British paper, the Sun, "I know many of my husband's ex-girlfriends who will agree that if every man was as good in bed as David, there would be a lot of happy women around."

The Left Coast Report is surprised that, considering the proclivities of some of her fans, Liza didn't add a Jerry Seinfeld qualifier to her remarks – Not that's there's anything wrong with that.

Yo Quiero Speedy Gonzales

Speedy Gonzales has been living in PC exile. He was banned from the Cartoon Network in late 1999. Now fans of the cartoon rodent are engaging in an e-mail campaign to bring Speedy back to the cable network.

Over the years, the sombrero-wearing mouse with a Mexican accent endeared himself to cartoon lovers across the country. He was known for using breathtaking speed to defeat villains the likes of "Greengo Pussygato" Sylvester.

The Hispanic hero was often assisted by his intoxicated friends who liked to lounge around the village. His lazy cousin, Slowpoke Rodriguez, helped him out as well.

In 1955, a cartoon called "Speedy Gonzales," which featured an early version of the character, actually won an Oscar. Cartoon Network spokeswoman, Laurie Goldberg, told Fox News.com, "It hasn't been on the air for years because of its ethnic stereotypes."

But fans can still hear Speedy's trademark "Arriba! Arriba! Arriba!" if they happen to travel. Apparently, Speedy Gonzales is, according to Goldberg, "hugely popular" on the Cartoon Network Latin America.

The Left Coast Report worries that Pepe LePew, the stereotypical French womanizer, may be joining Speedy Gonzales, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, and Heckle and Jeckle in PC exile soon.

Eminem's Lawsuit Blues

A lawsuit accusing Eminem and Interscope Records of stealing a French composer's work has been filed in federal court.

Jacques Loussier, the 67-year-old plaintiff from Paris, is best known for his fusing of classical music and jazz.

According to the suit, Loussier has released more than a dozen albums and sold six million copies worldwide.

The Associated Press reports that, in the suit, Loussier accuses Eminem and his record label of taking parts of a jazz fusion work, "Pulsion," for the rap song, "Kill You."

"Kill You," a song on Eminem's best-selling album, "The Marshall Mathers LP," has lyrics that talk about murdering women.

Eminem has had quite a run recently. In a little over a year, the almost 30-year-old white rapper did a duet with Elton John, was sentenced on a weapons charge, got divorced and was sued.

The Left Coast Report wonders what's next. Celebrity boxing with Boy George?

Ozzy Draws the Line

The New York Post reports that Russell Yates, husband of convicted murderer Andrea Yates, was in the green room of the "Today" show when he ran into Blender magazine writer Adrian Deevoy.

Deevoy was visiting "Today" as part of a story he was doing on Ozzy Osbourne.

When Yates found out Osbourne was due to show up for a "Today" show taping, Yates let Deevoy know that he was a die-hard Osbourne fan. Yates then sang several Black Sabbath songs and spoke enthusiastically of having his picture taken with Osbourne.

When Osbourne found out that Yates wanted a photo, he didn't mince words. "I will burn his eyes out with a hot poker," Ozzy announced. "He is profiting directly from the demise of his own children. And that, to me, is wrong."

While Yates was waiting for him in the green room, Ozzy slipped out the door.

The Left Coast Report can't imagine being held in any lower esteem than this. Here's a guy who has snorted ants into his nose, defecated in a women's purse and bitten off the head of a bat. And he can't stomach having his picture taken with Russell Yates.

Charlie Daniels, Camp X-Ray Troubadour

In the first USO concert at the base in Guantanamo since 9-11, country singer Charlie Daniels entertained U.S. troops with his trademark fiddle, so reports the Associated Press.

Daniels surprised the troops with some tailor-made lyrics for his classic tune, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." He sang, "The devil went down to Gitmo, he was looking for some Taliban."

Grateful soldiers responded with applause and cheering.

The base in Guantanamo, also known as "Camp X-Ray," is holding 300 men who are suspected of having links to either the Taliban or the al-Qaeda terrorist network.

"I was too young for a couple of the wars and too old for the rest of them," the 65-year-old Daniels told the AP. "I can't fight, so I came down to entertain."

Daniels certainly accomplished what he came for. This in spite of his own battle with prostate cancer and having to have his prostate gland removed.

"Charlie is a good symbol of America," said Rich Sann, a firefighter on the base from Corpus Christi, Texas. "He's a true-born American."

The Left Coast Report is glad to see attention being paid to the ones who must guard the potentially dangerous captives at Gitmo. Daniels demonstrated this concern with action as he lifted the spirits of the men and women who perform this increasingly difficult task.

The Left Coast Report is put together by James L. Hirsen and the staff of NewsMax.

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