Jack Thompson
Thursday, Feb. 15, 2001

Their 11-year-old daughter called 911 begging the police to come to her parents' home during a ruckus. I, like mos Miamians, have heard the tape; it is frightening.

When police arrived, Mari Carollo was standing outside with a "golf-ball-sized lump" on her forehead. The mayor was standing at a distance, yelling at his wife, "This is what you wanted!"

Mrs. Carollo filed for divorce months ago, stating that she was weary of being the abandoned politican's wife. But apparently not abandoned enough. "Crazy Joe," as Miami Herald liberal columnist and novelist Carl Hiaasen called him years ago and the label has stuck, refused to vacate the family's home, which led to the event that has all of Miami-Dade County buzzing.

Originally, Mari wanted to file charges. Now she has changed her mind. Originally the police said she was hit with a terra-cotta teapot. Now the police admit that was a mistake. What a shame, in a way. That would allow all of us in South Florida to refer to this as the "Teapot on the Dome Scandal."

But there are other aspects of this mess to ponder. The mayor claims that the bump on the head was the result of "an accident." He also claims that he is being treated unfairly by the Miami police because he fired the department's chief, who cooperated with the feds to capture Elian.

O.J. was treated unfairly by the LAPD, too, you will recall.

And then there's the mayor's attorney, Ben Kuehne, who was one of Al Gore's Boies-led post-election lawyers who says Carollo should be given a break "because the mayor has brought the city to the brink of greatness."

Really, when did that happen? I've lived in Miami since 1976. The closest we ever got to the brink of greatness was when Janet Reno left for Washington. But now, she's baaaaaaaaaaaack!

Two days ago, however, the mayor "apologized" for all the distraction that all this has brought about. He did not apologize for beating his wife, but being sorry for distractions is a start.

In 1988, I was in a famous restaurant in Miami called the Versailles. I was being interviewed live on a daily midday radio show broadcast from the restaurant because at that moment I was running against Janet Reno. I was finishing up my 30-minute segment of the show, when in walked Joe Carollo, who was running for city commissioner. Somebody said something in Spanish that Joe did not like, and he flew across a table and started to choke the man.

I thought to myself, "Whoa, this guy's a viable candidate, and I'm not? Maybe I need to move back to Ohio."

But I'm glad I'm still here. Miami is a lot more entertaining than Cleveland. Sometimes too entertaining.