Neal Boortz
Wednesday, Dec. 19, 2001

OK … if this doesn’t sound like me, you can always imagine that Belinda or someone else on my staff wrote it!

If you're finished with your shopping for friends and loved ones, why not put some more bills in your pocket and buy one more gift. Find someone who has just been laid off. A divorced mom who hasn't received a much-needed child support check in months. These people have gifts they want to buy for their children, but are caught deciding between food and bicycles.

Do something for them. You'll wake up with a huge smile on your face Christmas morning when you think of the joy you have brought to some child and the help you have given some beleaguered parent.

I Hate It That I May Have Had This One Right

First, let’s take you back to my column of Nov. 2. At the very end of it is the following bit:

Thinking Out Loud

You know how in the WWF or the WCW, sometimes a bad guy has a sudden change of conscience and becomes a good guy? And you know how eventually it turns out to be a trick to lure another good guy into a trap where he is pummeled by the former bad guy and some of his cronies, and the former bad guy was only fooling and is really still a bad guy, after all?

I don't know what made me think of that. Oh, by the way, did you hear that Geraldo Rivera, who thinks Clinton is one of the greatest presidents this country ever had, is moving to Fox News Channel?

Now we find that Geraldo Rivera is under fire – and so is Fox News Channel. It seems that Geraldo has been stretching the truth a bit in some of his newscasts.

He says he was here when he was there. He tries to make himself the focus of the news stories. He dodges (imaginary?) sniper bullets. He brags about packing heat. He wants to take Osama out.

So ... did Geraldo become a good guy by switching to Fox News Channel? Or could it be said that Geraldo actually lured Fox News into his lair so that he could embarrass them. The bad guy – the guy who thought Clinton could do no wrong – turns out not to be such a good guy after all.

Fox News has been on a roll. Special Report with Brit Hume is hands-down the finest news show on television. CNN was on the run in the ratings. O’Reilly has a number one best seller. Something needed to be done to attack Fox News’ credibility. They needed their comeuppance. Was that Geraldo’s purpose? Was he a man on a mission --- a mission for someone other than Fox News Channel?

To see how other news media outlets are ripping Fox News .. Here’s your link! http://www.washingtontimes.com/national/20011219-47404456.htm

A Black Muslim Gets a Christmas Present After Ramadan

Mumia Abu-Jamal, who has spent two decades making a mockery of the American judicial system, finally saw his efforts pay off yesterday. U.S. District Judge William Yohn threw out his death sentence and ruled that Abu-Jamal is entitled to a new sentencing hearing within three months. If the hearing does not occur, his sentence will automatically be converted to life imprisonment.

Abu-Jamal has been the poster child for anti-death-penalty groups for several years now. A year or so ago, one of the network news magazines (was it "20/20"?) did a report about the case. They talked to some of his most vocal supporters, i.e., Ed Asner, Mike Farrell et al.

Asner and Farrell spouted all the propaganda arguments in defense of Mumia. Then, as each "truth" was shot down by facts from the interviewer, they sat in silence. Finally, after the glaze in their eyes lifted, they were left with only their true motives: "Well, the death penalty is unjust and should be ended."

Ah ha! That’s what this is all about ... not an unjust verdict, an "unjust" sentence.

By the way, have Ed Asner and Mike Farrell had any successful projects lately? I mean, besides "20/20"?

It May Be Worse Than We Thought

Donald Rumsfeld told a meeting of NATO to be prepared for the threat of "devastating" nuclear, biological or chemical attacks in the near future.

Rumsfeld told the group that the 9-11 attacks "may in fact be a dim preview of what is to come if we do not prepare today to defend our people from adversaries with weapons of increasing power and rage."

It appears Rumsfeld is trying to warn the world that the terrorists have no qualms about exploding a nuclear device and ultimately killing millions of innocent men, women and children ... in the name of Allah.

I imagine that Allah is asking, "Where do these idiots come up with these ideas? I said to love one another, not bomb one another."

Every once in a while the question pops into your mind ... can we defeat terrorism without relegating Islam to the dustbin of history? I guess that will be up to those Muslims who truly want to live in peace with the rest of the world's religions.

77 Gaza Strip

A new poll shows that the majority of Palestinians oppose a halt in the fighting with Israel and 64 percent of those polled are in favor of suicide bombers against the Jewish state. The poll also showed that 57.6 percent of the Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza Strip believe a "cease-fire is unjustified in the current circumstances."

Only 34.9 percent felt a truce was justified, and 7.5 percent had no opinion. I repeat, when hatred is a way of life, there will be no advantage on either side.

Now ... go back and read the last paragraph of the previous bit again.

Santa Says, 'Are You Looking at Me, Bum?'

One of Santa’s helpers at Harrods’ Department Stores in London has been fired because he mooned the crowd, more or less. The store is trying to keep the incident hush-hush, but it’s hard to keep the em-bare-ass-ment quiet. The unnamed Santa says it was all a joke (don’t they all say that?); however, that didn’t stop him from getting fired.

I would imagine that most Santas are Democrats. Democrats are so good at showing their asses.

Where in the World Is Osama B ... The Hell With It – He's Dead!

After days of the media saying that Osama bin Laden has pulled the wool over America’s eyes and escaped, some folks are now actually suggesting that he's dead ... on the floor of some unnamed cave in Afghanistan.

"If Osama is here, they would be fighting us, but in this case I don't think Osama is in Tora Bora because they are not fighting. Now, maybe he has gone somewhere else, or maybe he is dead," said an anti-Taliban leader.

It does make for intriguing speculation. It would be foolish to assume that our government is telling us everything as this war on terrorism unfolds.

Maybe the best thing is for Osama just to disappear .... disappear in a cloud of goo or under a pile of rocks. No dead body to enrage the followers, no prisoner to serve as a focal point for demonstrations and hostage dramas.

You can bet that if any American soldier spotted this tall goon in a scope – that would be his end. Maybe we'll never know.

Neal Boortz is the hugely popular nationally syndicated radio host.