Neal Boortz
Wednesday, Nov. 21, 2001

Sometimes I just can't figure that guy out. Right now he's on a tear about this military tribunals thing. Barr doesn't like it, and I frankly don't understand why.

I've read the president's executive order. I agree that there are some troubling aspects there … we can tear those apart later. Right now let's deal with this military tribunal thing in the context of bin Laden and his Al-Qaeda terrorists.

Let's say that some of our Special Forces guys are wandering around Ashcanistan and here comes Osama holding his hands high … he's giving up. At this point our guys have four real options.

• Kill the SOB right there where he stands.
• Turn him over to the United Nations to be tried before the world court.
• Bring him back to the United States to be tried in a U.S. federal court.
• Try him before a military tribunal.

The best option? Kill the SOB. A gut shot, not one of those Special Forces head shots. Let the bastard suffer.

But let's say he lives and is captured. Look more closely at the options.

1. U.N. World Court

Oh this would be just wonderful. Since the day the United Nations was formed, it has been unfriendly toward the United States. In recent decades the U.N. has been nothing less than an U.S.-taxpayer funded soapbox for every petty dictator and activist in the world who has a gripe against America.

Of late the U.N. has become more than an international anti-American soapbox. The U.N. is feeling quite bold right now. Just a few months before the terrorist attacks, the U.N. chastised the state of Arizona for going forward with an execution the U.N. didn't want to happen. The U.N. actually stated that Arizona was subject to the mandates of the U.N. courts and that that election had been illegally conducted.

Also, have you ever paid attention to the U.N.'s signature document when it comes to human rights? This human rights treaty was touted by Bill Clinton as the finest document in support of freedom in the history of the world. Others might feel that honor belongs to the Magna Carta, the Declaration of Independence or the U.S. Constitution.

But no. Clinton says the U.N. Human Rights Declaration is Numero Uno! Without belaboring this point, you might be interested to know that the U.N. Human Rights Declaration clearly states that humans have NO rights when it comes to the goals and purposes of the United Nations.

So ... try Bin Laden or some other terrorists captured in Afghanistan before a U.N. court? A U.N. court is an anti-American court. The trial would turn into a spectacle wherein the great unwashed would parade in front of international television cameras to denounce America as the "true" terrorist nation. The actual trial of the terrorists would only be a subplot to the anti-American agenda on center stage.

2. U.S. Federal Court

As soon as we drag that dirtbag over to the United States, he immediately earns the protection of the United States Constitution. Yup – that's right. As long as the terrorist (or any other criminal, for that matter) is (a) not an American citizen and (b) not physically in America, he is not entitled to the protection of our Constitution. No right to an attorney. No right to a jury trial. No right to confront his witnesses. No right to appeal. But … once they're here, all bets are off.

Can you imagine a trial on American soil of Osama bin Laden? Who would want to serve on that jury? Every juror would be a marked man or woman for the rest of their lives – IF, that is, they voted to convict. Osama is very media savvy. He would seize the opportunity to turn the trial into a spectacle of anti-Americanism. Why do we want to invite such a spectacle to take place right here at home?

3. Military Tribunal

George Washington did it. So did Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt. Washington and Lincoln did it on American soil with American defendants. The Supreme Court passed on it. No problem.

There is no law, no court ruling, no precedent that confers rights under the United States Constitution on non-citizens who commit crimes overseas.

Look, the young men and women we sent over there in the American uniforms don't get full constitutional protection if they commit a crime while in our armed services. They're subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Isn't it somewhat strange that those opposed to military tribunals for the terrorists want them to enjoy more rights than the members of our own military would have?

I do have a theory about those on the left who oppose the tribunal idea. They WANT an anti-American spectacle. They know a terrorist trial – especially one of bin Laden – would be the media event of the decade. What a time for them to wheel out their anti-American agenda!

But how does that explain Bob Barr?

Lead Story?

ABC led last night with the story that the White House is not going to be open to tours this Christmas. With all that is going on in this world, ABC decided that the most important story out there was no Christmas tours at the White House. What do you think? Bona fide news story? Or just an attempt to put Bush in a negative light.

Talk About a Rock and a Hard Place!

If you thought it was bad to be the Taliban lately, check out what Donald Rumsfeld said yesterday: "The United States is not inclined to negotiate surrenders, nor are we in a position, with relatively small numbers of forces on the ground, to accept prisoners."

Apparently, there have been rumors of a negotiated surrender of the remaining Taliban, Mullah Omar, and non-Afghan supporters of Osama bin Laden that could allow them to flee to another country. Rumsfeld didn't seem too keen on that idea.

Just so there would be no mistaking his position, he added the following: "Any idea that those people in that town who have been fighting so viciously and who refuse to surrender should end up in some sort of a negotiation which would allow them to leave the country and go off and destabilize other countries and engage in terrorist attacks on the United States is something that I would certainly do everything I could to prevent. They're people who have done terrible things."

So, if you're fighting American troops and you hear the leader of those troops say that surrender isn't an option, and that they're not in a mood to take care of prisoners, what does that leave you? I think that leaves you potential food for worms.

Remember how many chances President Bush gave the Taliban to give up bin Laden and the Al-Qaeda? Remember their defiance during those opportunities? Their chances to save face has long since past. Now keep an eye on the U.N. to see if they try to step in to spare the lives of the remaining "evildoers."

Mullah-ly, Mullah-ly, Mullah-ly, Mullah-ly, Life Is But a Dream

According to a report in London's The Independent, Taliban leader Mullah Omar was ready to surrender Kandahar to the alliance until he had a "prophetic dream." The brother of an opposition leader was negotiating the surrender of the city and all seemed to be going well until yesterday when he reportedly was told that the Mullah had a dream in which he remained in power.

To quote Omar precisely, "I have had a dream in which I am in charge for as long as I live." Uh, hey, Omar baby ... we can easily make that prophecy come true. The question isn't how long do you want to rule, the question is how long do you want to live? Obviously that question never occurred to him.

Now Here's a Really Strange One

I'm not sure what to make of this. There are a couple of anonymous Web browsing services out there which allow a surfer to browse without leaving "footprints" of where they've been. They allow one to send anonymous e-mail (can't be traced) and many people use them to bypass their company's firewall in order to access blocked websites.

On the good side, this allows people to access my website if their company's firewall blocks them from reaching boortz.com. The best-known ones are Anonymizer and Safe Web.

On Monday, Safe Web announced that it is shutting down for the time being. The strangest part of this story is the AP report that Safe Web received $1 million in funding from the CIA last year. Now, why would the Central Intelligence Agency pay that much money to a company that theoretically could be used to make their job harder? Something is weird here.

Money Talks and bin Laden Doesn't Walk

Until this week, the price on Osama bin Laden's head was a meager $5 million. I guess that wasn't quite enough incentive for Afghans to turn on a "guest," so now the bounty is a whopping $25 million. That should do the trick.

With that much money, the average Afghan could afford to buy a two-story double-wide cave. I imagine that $5 million is beyond the comprehension of most Afghans, so $25 million is five times beyond their comprehension.

Actually, the main reason the terrorists have been beyond our reach and nearly impossible to infiltrate is that their members are told that if they ever betray their fellow terrorists, not only will THEY be killed, but their family and their family's family will be killed. Even the Sopranos aren't that cold.

Boost that reward a bit more and H. Ross Perot will be putting together another one of his commando teams. Speaking of that … why not just let the Israelis go get him?

But Janet Reno Is Shorter Than That, Isn't She?

Speaking of the Sopranos, did you hear the Godfather yesterday? He had a great line. He was talking about how reports have indicated that Osama bin Laden might try to escape Afghanistan disguised as a woman.

There is precedent here. It was rumored that Moammar Ghaddafy (Khaddafi, Gadhafi, Gheddafi, Kaddafi, Kadhafi, Kazzafi, Khadafy, Qadafi, Qaddafi, etc.) escaped death during our bombings of Libya in the '80s by doing exactly that – dressing as a woman.

The Godfather went on to say that if bin Laden managed to escape as a woman, the 6'5" terrorist could then travel to Florida and run for governor. "What I do know is this: if he made it out that way, he could easily come to Florida and run for governor. He'd probably get away with it and win election, as long as the Democrats made the right kind of ballot. At the very least, he could raise some big campaign money."

Think about it.

Methinks She Doesn't Have a Clue

President Bush yesterday named the Justice Department headquarters after former presidential brother and former Attorney General Robert Kennedy. In an apparent slap in the face of GWB, RFK's daughter made some disparaging remarks to the crowd before the president's arrival, about his anti-terrorism legislation.

In her remarks, Ms. Kerry Kennedy-Cuomo (yes, she's married to Andrew Cuomo, son of Mario Cuomo, and staunch supporter of Bill and Hillary ... after all, he was a Cabinet member) announced that her daughter, Cara, was in the audience. She then proceeded to tell her daughter as part of her speech, "Cara, if anyone tries to tell you this is the type of justice your grandpa would embrace, don't you believe it.''

There is some validity to her concerns in that there does seem to be some eagerness in the Bush Justice Department to compromise liberty and freedoms in order to attain security. The truth is that Kerry Cuomo's father okayed many wiretaps and secret recordings that today would have been strenuously denounced by the ACLU and conservatives alike.

It was Bobby Kennedy who approved the clandestine recordings of Martin Luther King Jr. used by J. Edgar Hoover to try to derail Dr. King's civil rights movement. It was Bobby Kennedy who sidestepped the Constitution in an attempt to shut down the Mafia.

While his goals may have been honorable in the latter case, his means were not. Even Alan Dershowitz would fight him if he were attempting to do that today.

However, I would like to bring up a point that has yet to be understood, much less considered, by the left. You CANNOT judge previous generations by today's standards.

Today, Mark Twain is called by many a racist. By the standards of his time, he was a social liberal. Even Teddy Roosevelt was a social liberal at the time, but he accepted as fact the idea that Caucasians were inherently superior to all other races. That makes him a racist in the CORRECT definition of the term.

Perhaps Kerry should spend some time with the history books before she spouts off again.

I Don't Think He's Talking About Harry Potter, Do You?

"The hardest job in Washington these days is commissioner of senatorial parking. He's got to allot space for 99 cars and a broomstick." – Michael Barone, editor of U.S News

Now ... tell me. How is he going to get away with this? What if these words had come from Bob Barr?

Neal Boortz is the hugely popular nationally syndicated radio host.

Read more on this subject in related Hot Topics:
Al-Qaeda
War on Terrorism